Friday, December 12, 2008

Sexy Rexy

Dear Madonna,

You'll never guess what I did this week.

My friend, Shelley, and I went to see the Nutcracker ballet on Thursday night. It was a beautiful production featuring lavish costumes, eye-popping sets, and stunning performances by the principal dancers (as well as endearing appearances by National Ballet students).

During the intermission I spotted Rex Harrington, formal principal dancer with the National Ballet of Canada, now its Artistic Director, and most recently a guest judge on the Canadian version of the television show "So You Think You Can Dance." I not only spotted him, I accosted him, introducing myself, foisting my card on him, and 'pitching' him on my fund-raising idea for next year's CAMH Benefit.

For the past two years I've raised money for the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health as a kind of memorial to my brother, Michael. I've got a great idea for next year's Benefit and it would be way cool if I could get "Sexy Rexy", as he calls himself, to take part. He's already a spokesperson for CAMH's Transforming Lives advertising campaign which features high-profile celebrities sharing personal stories in an attempt to de-stigmatize mental health and addiction issues. I asked him how I could keep in touch with him and - would you believe? - he gave me his email address!

After the ballet Shelley and I went across the street to the bar in the Hilton Hotel, but that's another story :)

Ciao,
Julie

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Thanks for the email

Dear Madonna,

It was great to open my inbox this week to see an email from you. And although the schedule change to your Buenos Aires concert dates doesn't really affect me, it's an interesting coincidence as my friend Beverley just got back from BA and sent me a lovely long email about her stay there. Another coincidence - Beverley and her husband, David lived in England for six years in a village not far from your estate. Oh - but are you moving back to the U.S. after the tour/divorce?

Beverley is a Tango afficionado and studies -very seriously - with an instructor in BA. I, on the other hand, am "Tango Girl, interrupted", having taken classes at Rhythm and Motion Studio for just over six months, then stopping and re-starting just last month. Thankfully one of the guys who comes to my weekly West Coast Swing practices drags me around for a Tango or two on Tuesday nights. It's really an exercise in submission, though, compared to West Coast.

Beverley insists that the "macho" reputation of the men in BA is overplayed, though she paints a picture of the Milongas where 60-year-old-men will only dance with 30-year-old women, and only when they - the men - ask (demand?) Where are these men's wives? Why does the culture prohibit a woman from asking a man to dance?

Busy week ahead and Christmas just around the corner....

Ciao,
Julie

Friday, November 28, 2008

Wanna Buy a TV?

Dear Madonna,

Silly question, I know, but may-be you can pawn it off on Guy in the divorce settlement rather than letting him have the all the state-of-the-art equipment from your home theatre. Mind you, he's probably the only one who watches television in your household anyway. Football matches with all his lager lout mates. I'm guessing you don't let the children sit mindlessly in front of a TV screen any more that you would allow them to eat cheese.

Anyway, I've just posted the TV on Craigslist and hope I can find a good home for it. Barb gave me hers, which has been replaced by a lavish flat-screen that fits over the fake fireplace in her new house. My TV belonged to my grandmother and when I repaired it a few years ago I was assured that sets of that era are actually worth fixing, as opposed to the more disposible varieties built and sold today.

Consumerism and the economy are certainly getting a great deal of attention these days. I went on little "VV Boutique" shopping spree with Theresa last week, and always feel a bit virtuous dropping off more items than I actually buy. As well, the things I do buy are truly recycled goods. (Although I now have to race Theresa to certain sections of the store as we seem to have the same taste and can often wear the same size.)

A busy, festive December is just around the corner....

Julie

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Dear Madonna,

Well it seems like the absolute ultimate in vanities but I recently hired a professional photographer to take nude photographs of myself. Modesty prevents me from posting them here, but Joris also took a few shots of me clothed - including the one above. You can see examples of his art photography at: http://www.barenakedgallery.com/

And what am I going to do with these pictures? Well I'm not planning to use one of them for this year's Christmas card as my friend, Scotty suggested. Nor will I be putting together a coffee table book called "Sex" - LOL. My friend, Louise had Joris take pictures of her when she turned 50 and she has three of the more discreet ones displayed as a tryptich over her bed.

What's new and exciting with you? Oh, yeah. You're on the cover of every gossip magazine in print. Well at least you're busy on tour and I assume you have a lot of "people" to take care of all the divorce details.

By-the-way, the dress I'm wearing above is one of two aqcquired when Cava-Girl was here last May. The designers used to be swing dancers and their label is called Doll Factory by Damzels. You should check it out the next time you're in Toronto.

Gotta go...lots to do and it's a short week for me. I'm heading to Cape Cod next weekend for Swingin' New England.

Ciao for now,
Julie

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Thanks, Madge!

Dear Madonna,

We just finished our Thanksgiving weekend - yes, it's earlier than the American Thankgsiving due our northern climate and earlier harvest. It's not quite as big a deal here, although most people do get together with family for turkey dinner. I didn't. I took on a long-planned painting project during the three days off, and went out dancing every night.

And then last night I joined my old friend Barb in her new home. Not old as in ancient - she's our age - but old as in I've known her for more than half my life. Barb just bought a house with a lovely backyard in the west end of the city. We sat in her vaulted-ceiling dining room on elephant hide (don't ask) chairs, drinking Cava, and she made an interesting comment about YOU. She said that you've done "us" a big favour letting the world know how hot 50-year-old women can be.

So in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I'd just like to show our appreciation.

With gratitude,

Julie

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Happy Feet


Dear Madonna,

I don't know if I told you or not, but I was approached by Dave and Linda Corke, dance teachers in Ottawa, to endorse some dance shoes. (Dave and Linda also sell shoes and run an embroidery business.)

So back in August at the Chicagoland Dance Festival I had Kermit Duke, a professional photographer who works a lot of the dance events, take a bunch of pictures of me in the shoes Dave and Linda provided. It was my idea to pose on the white piano outside the hotel's ballroom. We did a few shots of me lying on the piano (again my idea) and then with my feet on the keys (Kermit's idea). Dave and Linda finally chose one with me sitting, hugging my knees, ankles crossed, and blinged it up a bit for their use. What do you think?

How goes the tour?

Julie

Friday, September 26, 2008

Ahhh...Nino

Dear Madonna,

The Twosome Dance Event was another dance-filled weekend. In addition to my own classes, I "assisted" Nino Digiulio of Chicago with his. I also performed a demo with him on Saturday night, and Nino deejayed the Salsa/West Coast Swing room for late night dancing.

(He was a real class act in so many ways....recognizing me as the "local pro" and following up with a gracious thank you email this week. Check out his site: http://www.mayihavethisdance.com/)

I'm looking forward to a bit of a break, though. Tomorrow will be my first day off in nearly a month. I know, I know, it's not like I'm on a grueling multi-city concert tour, but c'mon...you've got people.

The weather has been awesome and I've been using any excuse to get out and enjoy it. But I do think it's time to deflate by balcony bed and get ready for Fall.

Julie


Monday, September 8, 2008

'Yes, I love Madonna!' declares Guy Ritchie


Dear Madonna,


So your hubby, Guy, is in town for the Toronto International Film Festival. You were missed at the opening and after parties, of course, but we all know you're on tour.
Great that his new film, RocknRolla, is getting good reviews, and he has been countering all the rumours about your rocky marriage by emphatically saying he still loves you. How sweet.
It's a short week for me. I'll travelling to Buffalo on Thursday for the Swing Niagara Dance Championships. My student dance team, which I've told you about, will be competing against a team from Ottawa. I'm also helping out with the hotel arrangements to give the Event Director, Maria Cirino, a bit of a break.
Hope you're having fun out there on the road.
Julie

Saturday, August 30, 2008

The F-Word

Dear Madonna,

Time to Face up to it, girlFriend....you're Fifty. You're also Fit, Fabulous, and I suspect a little Frisky. (Ah, those menopausal hormones, eh?)

You've been getting a little Flak from your "John McCain as Hitler" reference in your show. Oh well, "F" 'em if they can't take a joke.

Speaking of your Sweet & Sticky tour... it's a pretty Fierce schedule. I was kind of hoping you could join us for our "So You Think You Can Dance" warm-up party on October 26th. We're all dressing up as Cat Deely and meeting for cocktails before heading down to the Air Canada Centre. But you'll be in Chicago.

And it would be FANTASTIC if you could make it to my 2nd Annual Benefit Dance on behalf of the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH) on November 11th. But you'll be in Denver. May-be I can get Rex Harrington to make an appearance....

Farewell For now,
Julie

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

You only got four days...

Dear Madonna,

It's just four more days 'til your birthday....you *must* be doing something special to celebrate.

Just for the record, I do have plans. I'm attending the Chicagoland Dance Festival and will be ensconced in the Crowne Plaza at O'Hare airport all weekend.

Also for the record I think your brother is a bit of a jerk. I don't know him, of course, and I haven't read his book, but from the sounds of it he's tried to slam your reputation and make himself out to be some kind of victim, all the while living off of you. That's gratitude, eh?

Gotta go. If I don't speak to you again before the weekend....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MADONNA!!!!!

Julie

Sunday, August 3, 2008

May-be you can pull a few strings....

Dear Madonna,

I entered the You and Madge in Montreal! contest through Flare magazine this week. Strangely the very, very, very fine print says that "winner an guest must be available to travel October 20-24, 2008" but makes now mention of the actual date of your concert there. I had to go to the StubHub website to see that it's Wednesday, October 22nd, which is a relief because I teach Tuesday nights. And I'll be teaching Monday nights in October as well, for the Toronto Swing Dance Society.

So, yeah, that would be cool. And I'd love to stay at Le Germain. Are you going to be at the St-James again?

Looking forward to the Madonna-thon starting next week on Star!

Julie

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Ripple Effect

Dear Madonna,

This is a picture of the grrrls/Followers from my student dance team, Ripple Effect. They performed for the first time at last weekend's Toronto Open Swing Dance Championships. In fact they competed, but there was only one other entry in that division (Swinging Air Force - a Lindy Hop team from Montreal) so both teams ended up with 1st place trophies: ours for West Coast Swing.

They certainly did me proud! I was also happy to see the first Eppie Awards go to (mostly) my students...all of whom had never competed before.

We've had an unsually wet July here in Toronto - accounting for a month of bad hair days - however the weather cooperated long enough for us to dance in the streets at the Beaches Jazz Festival this week, and Ben and Crystal had a stunningly beautiful day for their outdoor wedding.

My good friend Shelley is due to give birth to a little Leader or Follower any day now.

And what's up with you? That whole A-Rod thing seems to have died down, thank goodness. Do you have any plans for your birthday, yet? It's only three weeks away....

Julie

Friday, July 11, 2008

Caving in Cancun


Dear Madonna,
This is my favourite pic from a visit to a 'cenote' (sink hole) located south of Cancun, Mexico. It was a bit of an Ekhardt Tolle moment....contemplating the million years that have passed since a meteor fell in the ocean, creating this geological formation. We even turned our headlamps off and sat in total, and I mean TOTAL darkness for a minute or so.
Otherwise the trip was the usual (for my business) quick visit to see various hotels accompanied by too much to eat and not enough time to exercise, though I did manage to make it into the sea for a tussle with the waves.
And you....I heard you've denied the whole A-Rod thing, but that he hasn't and that his wife is filing for divorce. There's lots of speculation that you and Guy are divorcing, too. Meanwhile I keep reading about extra dates being added to your Sweet & Sticky tour.
It's good to keep busy. Me, I'm taking a full day of Burlesque workshops tomorrow.
Va va va voom!
Julie
(a.k.a. Diva Luscious)

Friday, June 20, 2008

Maid of the Missed Opportunies


Dear Madonna,

Regrets, I've had a few....

I'm sorry I didn't get Mike Topel to dance with the two pregnant Madonnas during JulieFest.

And I'm sorry I didn't come up with the descriptor "thunderous finish" during our wine-blending team-building event in Niagara-on-the-Lake.

The above photo was taken of our group on the Maid of the Mist tour boat, with the Canadian Horseshoe Falls in the background. Have you ever done it? It's a blast, but you do get very wet.

I was very surprised that Shelley seemed to like the Baby Tattoos I gave her as a shower gift last weekend. I thought they'd be my 'get-out-of-babysitting-free' card for sure. Perhaps she was just being polite.

We had our first Epplett Award Fund Steering Committee meeting last night, with a lot of great ideas and some concrete actions for the first "Eppies". Someone - who shall remain nameless - suggested that *you* may be eligible for an Honourary Eppie....

I'll send you a postcard from Cancun.
Julie

Sunday, June 15, 2008

61 days, 3 hours, 52 minutes

Dear Madonna,

Did you know that there's an on-line birthday countdown on the Blog madonnasworld.com? It's accompanied by an annoying "Happy Birthday" sound bite. Oh well. I'm sure they mean well.

In this weekend's Globe and Mail there was an interesting article by Johanna Schneller, one of their movie reviewers, about the pre-ponderance of films this summer featuring mid-life actors. You got a mention, too, for your 4 Minutes video with featurig "pipsqueak Justin Timberlake" being crushed by your "mighty yoga thighs". LOL!

My life has slowed down to a dull roar following the excitement of JulieFest. I've gotten my bike on the road in the last week and been having some fun in the great outdoors, despite sudden downpours. (Bad for the hair, but at least it's not cold.)

'Till next time, Madge.

Julie

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Desperately Seeking a Reply

Dear Madonna,

It's Sunday night and I'm watching 'Desperately Seeking Susan' on TLN. We're just at the part when she meets up with Roberta's husband and they're dancing to 'Get Into The Groove'. Love it!

Speaking of dancing, I was in Niagara Falls this week on a bit of a business junket an met up with a friend to go dancing. We ended up at Rumours on Clifton Hill (just about as old school tacky Niagara Falls as you can get.) Anyway, I wanted to make a request but couldn't figure out how to get to the deejay's booth so I hand-signalled from the dance floor:

I held up four fingers, then pointed at my watch.

The deejay got it and played 4 Minutes for me!!!

And we danced....

Julie

Saturday, May 31, 2008

You missed one heckuva party

Dear Madonna,


It's now two weeks since the JulieFest weekend and the Madonna-inspired Fabulous Floor Show (which you missed!) and I'm finally able to catch my breath and drop you a line.

The turn-out for the dance workshops was excellent and Mike was amazing...as always. The show was fun, and my Papa Don't Preach/Sisters piece with Shelley, pictured above, went really well. Andy Haslett provided Cava for a toast after the show, and I was completely overwhelmed by the surprise presentation of a plaque representing the creation of The Epplett Award Fund. (Or as Mike coined, "The Eppies").

Hard to top, but the party continued the next day at The Gladstone Hotel with the Dear Johns - they were awesome! - and a guest appearance by Elvis. Best of all was just hanging around the hotel with friends and family, including my "sister by choice" Penny and brother, Andy.

Cava Karen stayed a few more days and we played tourist a bit, going to the Museum of Contempory Canadian Art (mocca), the CN Tower, and a final, fun cocktail hour at the Rooftop Bar of the Park Hyatt, where a "Mr. Zorro" bought us a bottle of champagne.

More pictures on my Facebook page. Friend me.

Julie

Thursday, May 15, 2008

JulieFest Official Kick-off Party Tonight!

Dear Madonna,

Cava-girl Karen arrived yesterday, and she got a sneak peak at the opening number of the Madonna-inspired Fabulous Floorshow taking place this Saturday.

Mike Topel arrives today, and we'll be dancing to Karaoke at Noah's Ark tonight. (The address is 2777 Danforth Avenue at Dawes Road in case you arrive late and want to direct your limo on how to get there.)

Still many details to attend to but everything is coming together and everybody seems to be really looking forward to the weekend.

Still hoping you'll surprise us and just show up. Looking for a hotel? I recommend the new Hazelton Hotel in Yorkville. They have some beautiful suites, and it's within walking distance of my place.

Gotta run! I'm taking Karen to Christine's (my gym) today for a work-out.

Julie

Friday, May 9, 2008

Sticky & Sweet


Dear Madonna,

Diggin' the new album, and thanks for sending along that advance info about the concert dates. So glad you're making a stop in Toronto this time. Where are you staying? Will you be at the St-James again in Montreal? That's a such a gorgeous hotel.

I'm looking forward to playing '4 Minutes' tonight at the Toronto Swing Dance Society's Friday night dance. I'm teaching a couple of short lessons then deejaying part of the evening. It'll be one of the last opportunities for me to talk up JulieFest...which is now less than a week away, can you believe it?

Any word from Antonio (Bandaras) about whether he can make it? I'm still looking for Tango dancers....

Miss Julie

(The 'Miss' is an affectation I picked up in New Orleans)

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Trashy Diva

Dear Madonna,

Just back from New Orleans. It was a good trip but I'm glad to get back to my own bed, and Zouk and Liza of course. (They're my cats and they really miss my lovin' when I'm away.)

The New Olreans trip was business, though I did fit in a night out dancing at Club Silouette in the suburb of Metarie hosted by local West Coast Swing pros Shawn and Kristen Moody.

I also managed to buy some souvenirs, mostly gifts. I read in a guidebook about a store in the French Quarter called "Trashy Diva" specializing in in clothing and handmade corsets. Woo-hoo! I bee-lined over there during one of our lunch breaks only to discover that they now only sell vintage-inspired ready-to-wear, and no lingerie. Oh well.

And, of course, I was nowhere near a record store on April 29th so will have to go out to HMV tomorrow to pick up my copy of Hard Candy.

Any word from Antonio, yet?

Miss Julie

Friday, April 25, 2008

Don't Cry for Me



Dear Madonna,

Do you know how I can get hold of Antonio Bandaras? I'd like to invite him to my party, too.

He knows a bit of Tango, doesn't he? From when you worked on Evita together? I'm soliciting some crossover West Coast Swing/Tango dancers to put on an informal demo on Madonna Day, for the Fabulous Floor Show. Getting Antonio to come would be a real coup! And there's a bit of birthday 'history' associated with him.....

When I went to Barcelona with Cava Girl Karen for my 40th birthday the plan was to hook up with an Antonio Bandaras look-alike for a bit of holiday fun. In the first two days that we were there, though, the only men we met seemed to be Moroccan gigolos, so I quickly dropped that idea and Karen and I carried on sight-seeing and going to the Cava Bars without paying much attention to the guys who were paying attention to us. You must know how that is.

Another question, and this one from Beverley who *may* help out with the Tango demo if I come up with a song she likes, and that is: What's your favourite Tango song? Do you go for the traditional stuff or are you drawn (like I am) to the "alt" or electronic Tango music?

Last weekend we were in Buffalo for dance workshops with an instructor from California, Michael Kielbasa. He danced with one of the local Buffalo instructors (and fabulous Follower), Marta, to "4 Minutes". So cool! I really hope the song finds its way onto the West Coast circuit. Actually, I'm hoping that there will be other cuts from Hard Candy that will be suitable for dancing West Coast. Can hardly wait....

Only 4 Minutes to Save the World...and only 4 Days until the album hits stores!

"All through my wild days, my mad existence..."

Julie

Friday, April 18, 2008

On The Cover Of....


Dear Madonna,

Picked up the new Vanity Fair and Elle magazines last week. You are hot, hot, HOT! I love what you're wearing in both: all lingerie/athletic wear in VF (with those boots!), and a definite nod to Catherine Deneuve in Elle...plus fedora and fishnets...yum! Oh - and I like the patent leather bra, too, but when you come to Toronto I'll take you to Northbound Leather; I think you'll really dig their stuff.

Well, we're just a month away from JulieFest and I still have tons to do but things really are falling in place. I had some rehearsals last week, setting the choreography for a couple of pieces we're doing Saturday night....as part of our tribute to you, Madonna, so I hope you can make it.

The Gladstone Hotel has added "The Dear Johns Day" to their on-line event listing: http://www.gladstonehotel.com/events/day.cfm?d=2008/05/18. I really hope we get a mention in their print newsletter, the Glad Bag, as well.
Cool coincidence: The Gladstone features art shows in its public spaces and concurrent with my event there's a photo exhibit Elvis impersonators from a big annual Elvis weekend that takes place north of Toronto each year. Are you an Elvis fan, Madonna?
Anyway, gotta go. I'll write again next week, and then the week after that I'll be attending a conference in New Orleans. That's where I'll be on the on the 29th, when Hard Candy comes out. I want the real CD, though I'll probably download it to my iPod anyway.

BTW - did I hear '4 minutes' on a shampoo commercial?
Ciao ciao,
Julie

Sunday, April 6, 2008

4 Minutes

Dear Madonna,

I downloaded your new video with JT onto my iPod. Love it, love it, love it...and *especially* love what your wearing! Looking forward to hearing the entire album later this month.

I read this week that you've been defending poor Britney. Good for you. A few years ago my friend Shelley and I used your performance with Britney where you kissed as the inspiration for our costumes in a Jill & Jill contest at the Boston Tea Party. I remember Ann Fleming asking (a bit mockingly) if we were supposed to be 'angel and devil' as we were dressed in white and black. When we told her we were Britney and Madonna and that we were going to lock lips she nearly freaked!

You know, there's a ton of West Coast stuff going on in the U.K.; you may want to check it out. I get these great emails from a woman who calls herself West Coast Angie. Here's just a sample of what's happening, your side of the pond:
  • Wednesday 9 April ROBERT AND NICOLA ROYSTON will be teaching 2 classes, 8 to 8.50 (basics) and 9 to 9.50 (intermediate patterns) for Catriona Wiles - WCS Wednesdays at St Mary's Church Hall, Church Street, Twickenham TW1 3NJ. Doors open 7.45

    Friday 11 - Monday 14 April ROBERT AND NICOLA ROYSTON will be joined by KYLE REDD AND SARAH VANN DRAKE for the UK WCS CHAMPIONSHIPS AT WESTON SUPER MARE. This event is hosted by John and Wes of Jive Addiction who are responsible for bringing over so many US pros for our enjoyment. SO IF YOU HAVEN'T BOOKED YET, DO IT NOW!! http://www.jiveaddiction.com/

    Friday 25 to Sunday 27 April JORDAN AND TATIANA will be at the Royal Oak Pub in Blisworth, Northants for a full weekend of workshops, freestyles and cabaret. There are still spaces left so contact Angelique at onlytheroyaloak@aol.com or call her on 07887 910646. The daily rate for workshops + freestyle only is only £45 or £89 for the whole weekend. The Saturday evening freestyle is £25 and Friday/Sunday evenings are £15.

    Friday 9 to Monday 12 May MARIO ROBAU will be at CEROC Scotland's Blaze Weekender in Ayr. I have personally attended many of Mario's workshops over the years and he really is a great master of WCS. If you have never seen him before, then do make the effort to travel to Scotland. He really is worth it, friendly, funny and very focussed with gems of technique pointers!

Madonna, these are all really terrific instructors, and I agree with Angie about Mario being a "great master". You'd get some valuable insight into the dance before JulieFest.

Speaking of which, I've asked Dave & Linda Corke to bring a good selection of the popular low-heeled sandal for Followers to purchase that weekend. I'm also looking forward giving away 'Angel Bucks'. These will be discount coupons for the workshop weekend with Angel Figueroa taking place outside Ottawa a couple of weeks after JulieFest.

Last but not least I've started scheduling rehearsals for the "Fabulous Floor Show" taking place during the dance on May 17th. I think you're really going to get a kick out of it. And if you wanted to perform in it yourself.....

Tick tock tick tock tick tock

Julie

Friday, March 28, 2008

My Newest Addiction

Dear Madonna,

I've become one of these people you see walking around, riding the subway, and sitting in Starbucks with white strings coming out of their ears. I'm listening to all my favourite music on a pretty pink iPod I bought for myself on Valentine's Day, and it's like crack! I still can't get over the quality of the sound and I love how it takes me into my own little world.

On the other hand - I've also downloaded the first four webcasts if Oprah's Monday night "classes" with Eckhart Tolle, where they are going through his book, A New Earth, chapter by chapter. In Chapter Two they talk about how people walk around wearing iPods are are not fully present and connected with their environment. In fact I was listening to that particular podcast as I was walking home from team rehearsal on Wednesday night. It's very cool that so many (2 million +?) around the world are taking part in the classes, but I guess I'm just not ready to be 'awakened'.

On top of that, it's Earth Hour tomorrow and I'm scheduled to deejay at a dance in Waterloo. Not likely that we're going to be turning off the lights and stopping the music....

Besides feeling a little out of step with the rest of the world things are going well as we get closer and closer to JulieFest. Rooms are still available at the Gladstone Hotel; I booked mine yesterday (hint, hint), and registrations are coming in every week.

I noticed when I was on iTunes this week that 'Hard Candy' is already a best seller, and it hasn't even been released yet! I guess all that free press about you and Guy is paying off - heh heh heh.

Until next time,
Julie

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Accept All Invitations

Dear Madonna,

There's been a lot of talk lately about you and Guy leading separate lives. Girlfriend-to-girlfriend, if there is any truth to the rumours that you're splitting up I want to share some excellent advice from Canadian stand-up comic Sandra Shamus, and that is to "accept all invitations".

You may not feel like going out, and you're probably reluctant to do new things and meet new people but it will be sooooo good for you. That's why I think you really MUST come to JulieFest. Toronto will be such a great change of scenery and I'll introduce you to all my friends.....

One commentator speculated that all the talk about your rocky marriage is really just a publicity stunt in aid of getting your name in the press before the release of your new album next month. Well, if anyone knows how to manipulate the media you do!

In any case, I'm here. Even if you just want to talk.

Your friend,
Julie

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Mea Culpa


Dear Madonna,

Please accept my apologies for not writing sooner to congratulate you on your recent induction to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame! I don't care what anyone says, you look hot! Why shouldn't you wear a dress that shows off your thighs? Yeesh...people are just so mean. And all that talk about the 'work' you've had done. Nill Illigitimi Carborundum, is all I can say.

Well, registrations have started coming in already for JulieFest, and people are booking Private lessons with Mike. We're really only two months away, and I haven't heard from you yet so I'm a little worried you might not be able to make it. If it's just that you're still trying to get out of some other commitments, I understand. Please feel free just to show up.

Mike's given me the names/descriptions for the three workshops he's going to be teaching on Sunday, May 18th at The Gladstone Hotel. In fact they're names of Dear Johns songs:
  • Train Kept A-Rollin: How to stay on track but get some really steam and momentum built up

  • A Little More Time: Extending patterns, extending with groove

  • She's got the Rythym: ....and he does too; fun, alternative rhythms you can put in your butt
Remember Saturday is still *your* day, and my friend Shelley's husband came up with a brilliant write up for their website:
Mike Topel is crossing the Borderline to get Into The Groove. He's coming to celebrate JulieFest, as are all of Toronto's West Coast Swing dancers. It will be a day to Cherish, as is the woman whose birthday we're celebrating. Who's that Girl, it's Julie Epplett, and Mike is her gift to Toronto. If you don't know Mike, he's more than a Beautiful Stranger, and once you dance with him you'll Open Your Heart. He's True Blue even to the most Material Girl. I don't have to Justify My Love of Mike's dancing, see if for yourself... it's always in Vogue. Trust me, Mike is the best social dancer I've ever seen. Dance with him and you'll see he's Crazy For You as any leader should be. He knows What It Feels Like For A Girl, and his dancing will make you feel Like A Virgin. Follow your Lucky Star to JulieFest, catch the Fever and dance with one of North America's most amazing dancers.

I'm heading out to Vancouver and Seattle this week so will write to you next from the West Coast. Until then,

Julie


Friday, February 29, 2008

Bottoms up!

Dear Madonna,

Did you watch the Oscars? My girlfriend, Shelley, and I watched the Academy Awards red carpet coverage from a suite overlooking Niagara Falls. We even made it to the hotel's spa for pedis in the afternoon. Luxury!

While at the spa I picked up a copy of Men's Health and looked through it - for the articles only, of course - and discovered an interesting factoid about Cava. Apparently a Spanish scientific study has determined that drinking the Spanish bubbly on a regular basis reduces inflamation. "Like red wine, Cava has a significant amount of polyphenols, which have a strong anti-inflamatory effect on the body", thus reducing the risk of cancer, heart disease, Alzheimers, and arthritis.

I'm stocking up on Segura Viudas....and drinking to, and for, my health!

Sante,

Julie

Saturday, February 23, 2008

How well do you know…THE DEAR JOHNS?

Dear Madonna,

My friend Dianne was visiting from Halifax last week and we went on a tour of Queen Street West West starting with The Gladstone Hotel, where the Dear Johns will be performing their reunion gig during JulieFest.

We marvelled at the transformation from what the place was back in the Bronco's days. According to Adam, who took us around on a room inspection tour to some of the individually designed artist suites, some shenanigans still take place in the washroooms despite the hermitically sealed windows, although you no longer have to worry about being accidentally locked in a stall.

Just for fun I thought you might like to try your hand at a quiz (excerpted without permission from Cosmopolitan Magazine issue # 1214)

Test your knowledge of this country/rockabilly/blues/swing combo known to haunt the Queen/Dufferin area of Toronto in the mid-1990’s.

1) The Dear Johns consists of:
A- Breandan McGrath (bass)
B- Claude Barnes (drums)
C- Shawn Crockard (guitar)
D- Scott Crockard (harmonica)
E- All of the above

2) The Dear Johns guitarist Shawn Crockard courted and married Julie Epplett’s:
A- cat
B- good friend Dianne
C- dancing shoes
D- cha cha cha oochie mama!

3) The Dear Johns have been known to play:
A- country tunes by everyone from Hank Williams to Lyle Lovett
B- blues rants by folks like Son House and Stevie Ray Vaughan
C- swing numbers inspired by The Texas Playboys and Brian Setzer Orchestra
D- Rockabilly rave ups greased by Jerry Lee Lewis and Carl Perkins
E- R’n’R by The Clash, Pretenders, Talking Heads, John Hiatt
F- All of the above

4) It’s been said the Barnes/McGrath rhythm section of The Dear Johns:
A- lays it down thick and hot like fresh asphalt on the 401
B- is responsible for continental drift
C- can only barely tolerate the Crockard brothers
D- really ARE Crockard brothers but working under aliases

5) One of Scott Crockard’s favourite pastimes as a youngster was:
A- driving his younger brother Shawn crazy
B- driving his younger brother Shawn crazy
C- sitting on his younger brother Shawn’s head and farting
D- driving his younger brother Shawn crazy

6) The last time The Dear Johns played the Gladstone Hotel:
A- they made everyone in the place dance like crazy
B- someone tried to get wise with Donna the barmaid, but to no avail
C- the joint was called “Broncos”
D- There was a buffalo head on the wall
E- All of the above

How'd you do?

Julie

Friday, February 15, 2008

CavaGirl is Coming! CavaGirl is Coming!

Dear Madonna,

I think I told you that my friend, Cava Karen, is coming from England for JulieFest. Well I just got confirmation of her flight details today.

She and I met when I was living in Kuwait. We were both Hot Box Dancers in an amateur production of Guys and Dolls (you know, "Take back your mink, take back your pearls, what makes you think that I'm one of those girls?" - except that "pearls" was pronounced "poils", and girls, "goils").

Anyway, that was years ago now and we have a mutual friend, Slash who was also in the production. Bless his tone-deaf little heart, he had the only non-singing role. Slash loves Karaoke (naturally) and Karen has been urging me to urge him to come to JulieFest as well, but when I saw him last month in Houston he didn't seem that keen. Perhaps if you wrote to him, Madonna?

I went by the Gladstone Hotel last Sunday to drop off some JulieFest postcards with Adam, who's been helping me with the guestroom reservations. He was very impressed and gave them a place of honour at the front desk.

Gotta go. It's a work day and we have a long weekend ahead. Dianne is coming from Nova Scotia for a visit and I'm entertaining some of the "goils" on Sunday night.

By-the-way, the CavaGirl moniker might be a bit confusing. It started when Karen and I were in Barcelona for my 40th birthday. Not quite sure how or why but it was born somewhere amongst the Cava Bars of that city and my looking like you with your blonde Ray of Light curls was part of the story somehow.

TTFN
Julie

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Madonna Day

Dear Madonna,

I picked up your Immaculate Collection CD yesterday at HMV (using the gift card Nick and Laura gave me for Christmas). I'll be sure to play a couple of songs off of it at the Toronto Swing Dance Society's dance tomorrow night.

About the Karaoke Kick-off Party...when I told my friend Dianne my idea she said her husband Shawn (the lead singer for The Dear Johns) would rather hit his head with a hammer. I feel exactly the same way about watching "Dancing with the Stars".

Anyway, I'm guessing, you probably won't want to join us at Noah's Ark on the Thursday night either, but it would be really cool if you could come to the Dovercourt on Saturday. I'm making it a tribute day to *you* and all the dance workshops have been inspired by your songs.

Vogue - body movement ("Let your body go with the flow...")

In the Groove - partnering skills ("...gonna dance with someone else")

Express Yourself - styling for both Leaders and Followers

Like a Virgin - beginner West Coast Swing ("...for the very first time")

Oh, and I'd better check with Shawn, but they may be okay with you singing a couple of songs with the Dear Johns on Sunday night at the Gladstone, as long as we give them the song titles in advance so they can practice. Just let me know.

One more thing, Larry Hough posted the demos of me dancing with Mike - from my 'Six Pillars' instructional DVD - on YouTube. Check them out!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWn0zEJAG6c

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRhBJLDLzEw

Ciao ciao,

Julie

Friday, February 1, 2008

Karaoke Kick-off Party

Dear Madonna,

We were out dancing at Noah's Ark last night with Mona and Jack and came up with a brilliant plan....We're going to start off 'JulieFest' with Karaoke night at the Ark on the Thursday before the long weekend: Thursday, May 15th.

The place is aptly described in Mona's article in DanceTime as "Utterly without pretension...like walking into a stranger's rec room", and the vocal skills of the singers are a bit...um...uneven. The floor, however, is in good condition and dancers are both welcomed and appreciated. Mona thinks the singers will rise to the occasion of preparing for my birthday party with any West Coast Swing requests we may have.

Now we'll have to see if Mike can get here on the Thursday night to take part in the Kick-off festivities, and if the Dear Johns aren't too offended by the whole Karoake scene may-be we'll get them up at the mic. You, too, of course, Madonna....we'd *love* it if you could sing for us!

Noah's Ark is located at 2777 Danforth at Dawes Road.

Hope you can make it!

Julie

Saturday, January 26, 2008

The Invitations are at the Printers

Dear Madonna,

Please advise your mailing address (at whatever castle you're living in these days) so that I can send you a copy of the official invitation to "JulieFest".

The invitations, just so your people will know, are in the form of a postcard featuring a picture of one of my childhood birthday parties. Mom looks every bit the 1950's housewife, and is serving me sandwiches. Some of the furnishing in that picture remained in my family for years...through countless moves, I should add. In fact, I still have the wooden lamp with pressed-leaf shade in my condo today, and the aqua ashtray.

On the back I've got an overview of the weekend:

Friday May 16th at the Dovercourt House -3rd floor
West Coast Swing/Cha Cha Crossover lesson with Mike Topel
Dancing to West Coast, Cha Cha, and Salsa

Saturday May 17th at the Dovercourt House – 2nd floor
Daytime West Coast Swing Workshops with Mike Topel
Evening Lesson, followed by Dance and a Fabulous Floor Show!

Sunday May 18th at the Gladstone Hotel
Daytime West Coast Swing Workshops with Mike Topel
Dancing to live music that evening featuring The Dear Johns

I've been in touch with Mike again this week with content ideas for his workshops, and people have started booking their rooms at the Gladestone Hotel. You should, too....the Queen Suite on Queen is sure to go fast!

Ciao for now,
Julie

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Mike's Our Bitch

Dear Madonna,

I just got back from Texas, where I spent some time with my good pal Mike Topel. Mike is an amazing West Coast Swing dancer and teacher, and I've invited him to teach a series of classes over the Victoria Day Weekend as part of my birthday celebrations. (He has it posted on his website as "Toronto JulieFest": http://www.miketopel.com/)

In fact, I've found a great big bow for him to wear!

We're just working out the content for the workshops. I want Mike to teach a Cha Cha class on the Friday night (dancing Cha with him is a totally orgasmic experience), and otherwise he's willing to do our bidding. So I've put the word out to the community to see if there are any requests.

And great news...I heard from Cava Karen in England. She's making arrangements to be here for my birthday, too!

I've also heard from Shawn-o that he's lined up sound equipment support for The Dear Johns so that I don't have to pay to use the Gladstone's existing system.

Woo-hoo!

Julie