“Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful”

Dear Madonna,

I can think of no better call to action, when it comes to a decluttering, than that quote by William Morris. And while I'm not a big fan of New Year's Resolutions, it seems inevitable, or at least natural, to embrace an "out with the old, in with the new" mentality at the start of a new calendar year.

So this month I've embarked on a course of new beginnings and fresh starts that has led to, among other things:

• the culling of my underwear drawer
• the ousting of old, threadbare towels (which remained in my possession for purely sentimental reasons)
• the purchase of a paisley scarf shower curtain, pictured above
• the launch of my new website: http://www.towestcoast.com/

The latter is still a work in progress, as are a number of projects around the Home Zone designed to make my work-living space more, well, workable and live-able. Oh, and I've finally admitted defeat in the battle against of cat-hair and a general lack of skill (or interest) in housekeeping; I've hired a cleaning lady.

What I still need to figure out is what to do with things that are only ephemerally useful and beautiful but which - like a drug - are so, so difficult to give up.

Ciao Bella,
Julie

Out, damn'd spot

Dear Madonna,

As a follow up to a routine physical examination my doctor ordered the removal of a mole on the back of my left arm. It was sent to the lab, and in the words of my friend Marilyn, "didn't pass the test". Nothing like the C-word to give pause, even when couched in reassurances about depth of penetration and highest cure rates.

I was sent to a special surgical unit at the hospital. Another incision was made and (it seems) a pound of flesh was taken from the offending area. I get the stitches out tomorrow and the next step, I think, will be a visit to the dermatologist to have tasteful nude photos taken of my entire body. I'm envisioning some arty, black and white prints to grace my file.

I'm feeling well cared-for and am doing my best to keep worry at bay. And I'm eating a lot of broccoli.

Julie

More Ways I'm Becoming My Mother

Dear Madonna,

Look at this picture. It was taken at the United Salseros (http://www.unitedsalseros.com/ Halloween Party. Of course I'm wearing a boa, and the Phantom of the Opera is totally checking me out, but my eyes are closed! That's like nearly every picture of my mother ever taken!!

I've started to notice little ways in which I'm becoming my mother. Like the size of purse I'm hauling around these days. It's perfect for carrying all sorts of things, like dance shoes and a book to read on the subway - Arjay Santano actually called it my "Mary Poppins Bag" - but it's HUGE. My mother used to always carry these humungous shapeless bags, and then my dad would get annoyed when she would have to rummage around inside it to find something. Yet she was always prepared, and half the time Dad was telling her "Here, throw this in your purse" so he wouldn't have to carry anything.

Then there's my makeup. When did I start wearing eyeliner? My mother ALWAYS wore eyeliner. In fact she'd have her whole face "done" before waking any of us up for breakfast. It was years before I ever saw what she looked like without makeup.

And it's not just the eyeliner use that has me worried. When I was cleaning out her house I must have thrown away 25 tubes of lipstick, all different brands, of pretty much the same colour - the colour I'm wearing now!

She's in my thoughts these days, as are Dad and Mike. I miss them.

Julie

Not Just for Kids

Dear Madonna,

Thanks so much for filling on on Friday night. It was so great that you could get away from all your charitable deeds in Malawi long enough to teach a West Coast Swing lesson and deejay at the Toronto Swing Dance Society's Halloween Dance.

Don't you love Halloween? There's no other time of the year where you can walk around wearing - quite literally - whatever you want. I can't believe that for so many years I didn't take advantage of this opportunity, especially since playing dress-up was such a favourite game as a child. I vividly remember some of the items in the dress-up box:

• My mother's pale pink wedding dress and matching pink open-toed sling-backs
• A blue velvet dress with white maribou collar (which eventually detached and could be used with other outfits)
• A black off-the-shoulder top that my mother told me was part of a Halloween costume she wore, as a Beatnik
• Silver and clear plexiglass Cinderella slippers!

What else do I like about Halloween? Dancing with a fireman, a cross dresser, a pirate, a super hero and Satan himself - all in one night :)

Julie

Artfully Amused

Dear Madonna,

I was in Montreal last weekend, primarily to I attended workshops hosted by Dance Conmigo and taught by John Lindo. Had a really, really good time. Stayed in Old Montreal, walked (and walked!) all over the city, and even got to see a Waterhouse exhibit at the Musee de Beaux Arts.

His work shares a Pre-Raphaelite aesthetic, although he came much later, and I particularly loved the "woman-as-wise-soceress" motif. Sirens and Niaids, images from Greek myths and Roman history, Homer's Odyssey and, of course, the Lady of Shallott...All very erudite and fanciful and hugely satisfying. There were even parallels drawn between the themes of the works to the Zeitgeist of the 1890's, in which they were painted, addressing the "gender roles and calls for women to be socially and politically independent alongside a demand for proper sexual fulfillment".

I realized, while eating a falafel for lunch at Bustians on Crescent Street afterwards, that it's been a long time since I've fed my art habit. Far too long. So today, being a gorgeous sunny, fall day I took myself to an outdoor art installation up in Willowdale. Five war-time houses, long abandoned and slated for demolition, have been transformed into - well, it's hard to describe. The first one has been painted completely green to resemble the little plastic green houses from a Monopoly game. Another had a car crashing in the front window. There was an odd little video about gay penguins, and some archival pictures of the area. You can check out the website at www.leonadrive.ca

I've also made a date with woman who lives in my building, Maury (of indeterminate age she still wears make-up and locomotes on high heels *and* a cane) to go and see the Vanity Fair photo exhibit at the ROM (Royal Ontario Museum) next month.

Missed you on SNL recently; you should have told me you were going to be on!

Ciao,
Julie

Cruise Control

Dear Madonna,

Driving back from Ottawa a few weeks ago (I was invited there to teach and deejay for Swing Dynamite's 4th Anniversary) and "picked up" a cute guy on the highway in black Mustang convertible. That is - he was driving at a consistent speed and positioned myself to follow at at safe distance.

It's a trick my friend, Dianne, taught me years ago: find someone driving the speed limit and cruise along behind - and it's a great strategy for someone with a (genetically predisposed?) tendency to speed. It reminded me of when I was working for Resorts Atlantic and I drove the Cabot Trail for the first time. I came across a guy on motorcycle, wearing one of those buckskin leather with fringe down both sleeves, and followed him for about an hour.

There's a dance analogy in there somewhere - keeping an even distance from the Leader, hanging back, but all the time controlling my own speed and power.

September was such a busy month, culminating with the Swing Niagara Dance Championships where I taught some classes and my dance team, "That's What I'm Talking About" competed. (The piece was choregraphed to Toronto Jazz/R&B singer Dione Taylor's song "Little Black Dress" and the girls all wore LBDs; the guys were in lavender shirts and skinny black ties.) We had a couple of really significant individaul wins (Yay Giselle! Yay Wij!) and as community we brought home the Pro-Am Challenge Cup. Go T.O.!!

Bye for now,

Julie

Booed in Bucharest?

Dear Madonna,

A piece in last weekend's Globe and Mail caught my eye: something about you speaking out against the discrimination against Gypsies and being booed for it. The article claimed you were surprised by the booing. I would be too.

I remember going to see a Flamenco performance of Carmen with my Flamenco teacher and fellow students. We went out to dinner afterwards with a few of the performers. My teacher spoke in great reverence of their heritage - they were "real Gypsies".

I wonder if it's a little like the disdain for Palestinians that you come across in the Middle East, where one of the greatest insults you can deliver is: "You don't even have a homeland".

Anyway, I'm overjoyed to report that Shoppe d'Or (a high-end consignment store in Yorkville) came through with their offer to donate clothing for our fundraising "swap" next month. I hope you don't mind that I'm using your image - fashion icon that you are - to promote the event.

The event takes place Thursday, October 8th a the Dovercourt House - in case you can make it. And if you want to donate any clothing - let me know!

Julie

Rules of Engagement

Dear Madonna,

First of all, you missed a fabulous weekend in Toronto. The 2Some Dance Event, and especially the "Westie Room" ROCKED the Hilton Toronto. The highlight for me was dancing an impromptu showcase piece with my good friend Mike Topel, Shelley, Nick & Clem. I haven't had as many bruises since I did those pole-dancing classes but it was a blast!

I'm dancing Tango tonight, which I lovingly think of as an excercise in submission - even more so when you take into account that Tango etiquette has a reputation for being, well, a bit harsh. I came across something this week that I found a bit disturbing:

http://www.close-embrace.com/invitingetiquette.html

It sent me back to review a hand-out I wrote a few years ago on the subject....

1. There are no gender rules for who asks whom to dance, i.e. it’s perfectly acceptable for gals to ask guys. (Or even for gals to ask gals and guys to ask guys. Hey – it’s only dancing!)

2. It’s not cool to turn down someone who asks you to dance. Notable exceptions:

(i) You’ve just danced to either a really fast song, or several songs in a row, and need to catch your breath and cool down, in which case you can tell the person that you will find them for a dance later - AND DO IT!

(ii) You really, really dislike the music that's playing; in which case, again, you can tell the person that you’ll get them for a better song later.

(iii) The person who asked you is drunk or has proven to be rough and difficult to dance with; you're legitimately concerned about your safety on the dance floor (and the safety of others.) Luckily this is a pretty rare worst-case scenerio.

3. Do you wanna dance? These behaviours will defnitely increase your floor-time.

(i) Bathe. Make sure your breath is fresh. If you tend to perspire heavily, consider bringing extra clothes to change into so that your partners don’t have to share your sweat.

(ii) Stay engaged in what’s going on. Stand, don’t sit. Watch the dancing, and see if there’s anyone you want to dance with. Chances are they’ll be flattered you asked.

(iii) Enjoy yourself while you’re dancing. Don’t hold back! Your energy and joy will attract partners, and admirers!

4. Good talk/bad talk. Good talk is when you compliment your partner. Bad talk is when you try to ‘teach’ or tell your partner what to do on the dance floor.

It's finally summer here in Toronto. I'm going to get on my bike today and enjoy it!

Julie

Something Stinks

Dear Madonna,

1. a garbage strike in Canada (Toronto)
2. a military coup in Honduras
3. a dengue fever outbreak in Mexico
4. a bubonic plague outbreak in North Africa
5. military rule and extortion in Thailand

Those were the news items - in order - covered in a recent World Travel Watch article in the San Francisco Chronicle. Now, I know all publicity is supposed to be good publicity but I wonder how Calgarians and Haligonians feel about being tarred with the same brush, so to speak, as my erstwhile squeaky clean city.

It's a bit unsightly, and even shocking, and to see litter overflowing from the garbarge recepticals around the city. Personally I'm not affected by any unpleasant odours - the one benefit of not having a sense of smell. It does make you look at all the trash created by places like fast food restaurants, though, as virtually all the litter you see are empty drink cups, plastic forks, and paper bags from doughnut, burger, and submarine sandwich shops.

I remember being in Cuba years ago and going for a 'caha' (literally a "box"): rice and beans, cheap, cheap served in a little cardboard box with a real metal fork. You ate your caha right there in the alleyway then returned the fork to be cleaned and re-used for another customer. Seems like a much better way.

Ciao,
Julie

Subway Dance 2.5

Dear Madonna,

Coincidence? Since my last message to you, "In Praise of Improv", I got hooked up with a group that calls itself Improv in Toronto and took part in kind of a flash mob event that had a couple of hundred people dancing to their iPods in the Toronto subway.

It was not as anarchistic as it sounds. There were rules:
1. No interfering with regular subway patrons
2. No dancing on the seats
3. No "dirty" (lewd) dancing - hey, there were kids around
4. No "pants-less" dancing - apparently that was worth mentioning

We staged ourselves at Museum Station and entered two consecutive trains, about 15-20 people per car. Right away one person in each car started dancing - to music that only they could hear on their iPod, so they looked like complete freaks. At the next station, two more people started dancing, and then at the next station, two more until we were all dancing to our own tunes. (I was dancing to an all-Madonna playlist of course!)

At Elginton Station we disembarked and took a bow on the platform as the other riders applauded and the driver on the train I was on blew the horn several times! Unfortunately our return trip was not as successful. After about three stations there was an announcement: THIS TRAIN WILL NOT CONTINUE UNTIL EVERYONE STOPS DANCING. EVERYONE MUST STOP DANCING. It was a bit surreal.

I'm not ignoring the big news story of Michael Jackson's death, and I do think it's a sad, sad waste (he was *our* age!) but I do feel he'd been "gone" for quite some time now.

Bye for now,
Julie

In Praise of Improv

Dear Madonna,

Do you ever watch "Inside the Actors Studio"? They should really invite you as a guest some day. Anyway, recently they had on talk-show host Conan O'Brien. He spoke surprisingly eloquently about the art of improvised comedy, a.k.a. "improv", and the great training it is for listening and being in the moment. It seems obvious, but time and time again on that show those skills are mentioned as being the key ingredients for being a good actor.

Also last week the great Carol Burnett was interviewed on "Q". She mentioned some of the skits that they used to do on her show, with Tim Conway, and how he would start ad-libbing and improvising to the point where a three minute bit would morph into 15 minutes of mayhem where the audience KNEW they were seeing something that was being made up - right before their eyes.

I think that's why I like the "Jack & Jill" and "Strictly Swing" (improvised) formats for dance competitions so much. Though I do admire the creativity and hours of practice that go into a flawless "routine", even the word "routine" belies its essence as a product that's been repeated over and over.

There's something magical about seeing something created in real time...a freshness that almost makes you feel like you're a part of the process. That may explain why - when you see some awesome Jack & Jill performance and can't wait to buy the DVD - that it's never quite as good as you remember it to be, when you were right there, in the moment along with the dancers.

Congratulations on your final concert date in Isreal. Your Sticky & Sweet tour has certainly been a success - while you've been going through all kinds of personal challenges. Life certainly doesn't get any less complicated as we grow older, does it?

Ciao,
Julie

Five-Oh-Plus-One

Dear Madonna,

I can't quite believe that I'm 51. Today. Yeah, no "JulieFest" this year, and I'm in Montreal today at the Hilton Bonaventure with a client - stuffing delegate bags, attending the pre-con (that's short for Pre-Convention Meeting), and if I'm lucky (?) going on a site visit of the new Westin later today. Oh, and it's early to bed tonight to be up and at the Registration Desk by 6:00 a.m. tomorrow morning.

But I did have a fabulous birthday "steal" dance on Friday night with Nick, Clem and Wij. It was so much fun, and everyone seemed to enjoy watching it as well. Steve Randall posted a video of the dance on Facebook, so I've been getting lots of messages from people I haven't heard from in ages. Cava-Karen sent me a beautiful card with paper products from Japan, and Louise knit me blanket - can you believe that? I got managed to get together for "Birthday Month" with Midori (whom I haven't seen forever) and Holly (back from celebrating her 30th in Paris). I suspect there are one or two more "acknowledgements" coming....

So may-be this *is* a kind of JulieFest after all - but without Mike Topel, the Dear Johns, Dianne, Cava-Karen, Andy & Tara, Karaoke, the Condom Garden, Elvis Priestly.....

On to stuffing!

Julie

Let me get back to you in a bit to let you know

Can you really have too much lace?

Dear Madonna,

There's an article in this month's Flare (it's a Canadian fashion magazine, and no, "Canadian fashion" is not an oxymoron) citing the most aggregious fashion crimes of the last 50 years or so. For some reason "lace" got dissed. Crazy.

My birthday's coming up at the end of this month and I'm definitely going to celebtrate by treating myself something lacy.

Either that or I'm buying a Blackberry.

Ciao ciao,
Julie

Free Coffee and a Free Ride

Dear Madonna,

I was pleasantly surprised when I went for my daily Short Bold today at Starbucks. As usual I had my "green" tumbler with me - something I started doing at the beginning of this year as my new year's resolution for the planet - and I was told that my coffee was free, in celebration of Earth Day, and as a reward for bringing my own cup. YAY!

I did something similar at my dance classes this month: offering a $5 discount for anyone who brought their own water bottle. I included the $5 drop-in fees as well and am able to make a donation of $350 to Markets Initiative.

My cousin NJ lives in Vancouver and works for the organization which lobbies publishers to use more eco-conscious paper sources. A couple of years ago Markets Initiative honoured JK Rowlings for demanding that 16 publishers around the world print her books using paper that was free of ancient or endangered forests. A more recent coup was the pubilication of a glossy magazine - Canadian Geographic - printed on paper made from wheat.

You can find out more about Markets Initiative at http://www.ancientforestfriendly.com/

Oh, and another fun thing happened today. I was on my way to a business lunch at the Design Exchange, waiting for the bus, when a couple of Citytv guys pulled up -a camera man and a talking head with microphone -stopped and asked if anyone wanted a free ride. Another woman and I hopped in and we were interviewed as we made our way down Bay Street. It was all in aid of some "random-act-of-kindness" stunt - I can't remember what they said they were doing. I just hope I didn't flash the camera when I was climbing out of the car.

What's this I hear about you falling off a horse and blaming it on a pizza delivery guy? Is someone having me on?

Ciao for now.

Julie

Mercy!

Dear Madonna,

Sorry to hear you were denied the opportunity to adopt Chifundo (a.k.a. Mercy) James from Malawi. It seems almost cruel to base the decision on some trifling bureaucratic technicality, like citizenship. You're appealing, right?

Did you happen to catch some of the uproar surrounding Billy Bob Thornton's bizarre interview on the CBC program 'Q' this week? It reminded me of the press conference you gave at The Sutton Place Hotel, which I inadvertently stumbled into. One of of the reporters asked you a question about your personal life and you reminded him - very firmly, but politely - that you were only answering questions about music, the 'Ray of Light' tour, and the new album. Unlike Billy Bob - who must have been smoking something. You can watch the entire train wreck at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJWS6qyy7bw

By the way, Billy Bob and the boys are no longer on tour here in Canada. Seems a couple of the band members have come down with the flu.

Ciao.

Julie

Not convinced

Dear Madonna,

Kabbala. Wasn't there a big furor when you started studying it? Since you're not Jewish, weren't 40 years old at the time, and not male. I went to a free information session today and found it a bit Eckhart Tolle meets T.Harv Ecker. Not my cup of tea I'm afraid.

Had a surpise call from my old friend, Val today. She's been "packaged out" by her company, so has gone from having no free time to, well, having a LOT of free time. She'll be coming downtown tomorrow for a seminar or workshop or something to help laid off employees to find new work. I'm having her over for lunch afterwards.

It'll be great to catch up. Val and I shared apartments, cats, and a passion for latin music. We even dated guys who played in the same band. She ended up getting pregnant and moving to Mississauga, which is pretty much the antithesis of my lifestyle so we, sadly, don't see each other very often.

Gotta go. I kind of slacked off this weekend and want to get a bunch of stuff done to start the new week off right...

Julie

Not to brag, but....

Dear Madonna,

When you bring home the hardware with the number "1" on it....

My award-winning dance team, Ripple Effect, was belatedly honoured a couple of weeks ago with a plaque for their First Place win at the Swing Niagara Dance Championships that took place last September. The above photo is of just some of the members, taken at the studio where I teach on Tuesday nights.


Congratulations on all the new concert dates! Great to hear that the Sweet & Sticky tour has been extended, and although my good pal, Mike Topel commented that "Four Minutes" has had its fifteen minutes, I still love dancing to it.

Cheers!

Julie

I coulda been a contender

Dear Madonna,

It was a big week. Barack Obama sworn in as the first black U.S. president, innaugural balls and whatnot, but for me the real issue was that I had to fly home from Houston before the finals.

You see, I was attending the America's Classic (Dance) Championships which are held in Houston, Texas over the Martin Luther King weekend. Monday is a quasi-holiday, with some, though not all, businesses closed. Anyway the schdedule for the weekend was skewed so that the Jack and Jill Finals, the Pro Strictly Swing competitions and the Masters Strictly Swing all took place after 3:00 p.m. Problem was, I booked my flight a couple of months before the schedule was posted and had to be on the airport shuttle at 3:00 p.m. to catch the last flight back to Toronto.

It *killed* me not to be able to dance in the finals, particularly since it was a mixed Advanced/All-Star division, and I hardly *ever* make finals! (Though I am "two for two", having come in 5th at Swingin' New England.) I even had a Masters Strictly partner lined up and it was going to be the first time I danced in Masters....

(By-the-way - you too would be eligible to dance in Masters. It's for competitors 50 years of age and older.)

Okay, I'm over it. No biggie, really.

Doesn't matter.

C'est la vie.

Julie

Size Matters

Dear Madonna,
I was successful yesterday in returning a couple of recent impulse purchases, exchanging them for smaller, more appropriate sizes: boots, that remind me a little of the Miu Miu boxer-esque boots that you wear in the 4 minutes video, and a piece of lingerie. (BTW - are you wearing leopard print boxer shorts? Cool!)

Both the boots and the lingerie were a bit too big from me and I felt fortunate that I was able to convince the retailers to take them back even though they'd been worn. I also recently acquired a beautiful - though oversized - leopard print coat which I'm going to have altered. And I took back a pair of black pants that were at least a size larger than I need....

You might be wondering why I keep buying things that don't fit. I've started to wonder, too, what it might mean subconsciously. Am I using these outer shells to somehow occupy more space in the world? Making myself feel larger and more significant, or even more present?

Luckily Santa has a very good idea what size I am ;-)

Ho ho ho.

Julie

Life Lessons from the Ramsden Park Rink

Dear Madonna,

You know how to skate, don't you?

I was given a pair new skates earlier this year from a colleague - can't remember the story behind them - and have been out a couple of times in the last few days to skate on the outdoor rinks at the park near my home.

It's mostly families enjoying the smaller ice surface; the larger one is boarded and used - continuously it seems! - for "shinney", or pick-up hockey. Some of the kids are amazing skaters, but others are still learning, and I noticed parents giving specific coaching tips on how to get up off the ice after a fall.

'Cause you WILL fall. It's inevitable, and not really that big a deal. You fall, and you get up. It's the getting up and getting going again, sometimes completely on your own, that matters.

Indeed.

Julie

Happy New Year, and Thank You!

Dear Madonna,

Thank you sooooo much for the Sticky & Sweet knuckleduster! It arrived in the mail yesterday in a rather non-descript box. I actually thought it was some kind of corporate swag (a logo'd memory stick or post-it notes). And there was no card - you should know. Perhaps some oversight by your peeps?

In any case I LOVE IT, and was waiving it around last night at Simon's New Year's Day Gospel Dance . Of course I can't actually wear it while dancing - that would be a bit dangerous - but I expect there will be opportunities in the New Year to flash a little M Icon bling.

So what did you do for the holidays? It must be a difficult time for you, considering the divorce and everything. There does seem to be so much pressure to have happy family experiences at this time of year. You wouldn't be alone in finding that a bit of a challenge.

I got to celebrate the Solstice with my brother, Andy and his girlfriend, Tara, in snowed-in Listowel, and had a wonderful time at Langdon Hall in London - you'd love the suite we had - with my friends Dianne and Louise, the night before Louise's simply lovely wedding to Art. New Year's Eve....well, I won't go into details here but suffice to say it will be remembered.

Out dancing again tonight. Just a couple more days until I'm back to my regular routine. Sigh.

All the best for 2009!

Julie