More Ways I'm Becoming My Mother

Dear Madonna,

Look at this picture. It was taken at the United Salseros (http://www.unitedsalseros.com/ Halloween Party. Of course I'm wearing a boa, and the Phantom of the Opera is totally checking me out, but my eyes are closed! That's like nearly every picture of my mother ever taken!!

I've started to notice little ways in which I'm becoming my mother. Like the size of purse I'm hauling around these days. It's perfect for carrying all sorts of things, like dance shoes and a book to read on the subway - Arjay Santano actually called it my "Mary Poppins Bag" - but it's HUGE. My mother used to always carry these humungous shapeless bags, and then my dad would get annoyed when she would have to rummage around inside it to find something. Yet she was always prepared, and half the time Dad was telling her "Here, throw this in your purse" so he wouldn't have to carry anything.

Then there's my makeup. When did I start wearing eyeliner? My mother ALWAYS wore eyeliner. In fact she'd have her whole face "done" before waking any of us up for breakfast. It was years before I ever saw what she looked like without makeup.

And it's not just the eyeliner use that has me worried. When I was cleaning out her house I must have thrown away 25 tubes of lipstick, all different brands, of pretty much the same colour - the colour I'm wearing now!

She's in my thoughts these days, as are Dad and Mike. I miss them.

Julie

Not Just for Kids

Dear Madonna,

Thanks so much for filling on on Friday night. It was so great that you could get away from all your charitable deeds in Malawi long enough to teach a West Coast Swing lesson and deejay at the Toronto Swing Dance Society's Halloween Dance.

Don't you love Halloween? There's no other time of the year where you can walk around wearing - quite literally - whatever you want. I can't believe that for so many years I didn't take advantage of this opportunity, especially since playing dress-up was such a favourite game as a child. I vividly remember some of the items in the dress-up box:

• My mother's pale pink wedding dress and matching pink open-toed sling-backs
• A blue velvet dress with white maribou collar (which eventually detached and could be used with other outfits)
• A black off-the-shoulder top that my mother told me was part of a Halloween costume she wore, as a Beatnik
• Silver and clear plexiglass Cinderella slippers!

What else do I like about Halloween? Dancing with a fireman, a cross dresser, a pirate, a super hero and Satan himself - all in one night :)

Julie

Artfully Amused

Dear Madonna,

I was in Montreal last weekend, primarily to I attended workshops hosted by Dance Conmigo and taught by John Lindo. Had a really, really good time. Stayed in Old Montreal, walked (and walked!) all over the city, and even got to see a Waterhouse exhibit at the Musee de Beaux Arts.

His work shares a Pre-Raphaelite aesthetic, although he came much later, and I particularly loved the "woman-as-wise-soceress" motif. Sirens and Niaids, images from Greek myths and Roman history, Homer's Odyssey and, of course, the Lady of Shallott...All very erudite and fanciful and hugely satisfying. There were even parallels drawn between the themes of the works to the Zeitgeist of the 1890's, in which they were painted, addressing the "gender roles and calls for women to be socially and politically independent alongside a demand for proper sexual fulfillment".

I realized, while eating a falafel for lunch at Bustians on Crescent Street afterwards, that it's been a long time since I've fed my art habit. Far too long. So today, being a gorgeous sunny, fall day I took myself to an outdoor art installation up in Willowdale. Five war-time houses, long abandoned and slated for demolition, have been transformed into - well, it's hard to describe. The first one has been painted completely green to resemble the little plastic green houses from a Monopoly game. Another had a car crashing in the front window. There was an odd little video about gay penguins, and some archival pictures of the area. You can check out the website at www.leonadrive.ca

I've also made a date with woman who lives in my building, Maury (of indeterminate age she still wears make-up and locomotes on high heels *and* a cane) to go and see the Vanity Fair photo exhibit at the ROM (Royal Ontario Museum) next month.

Missed you on SNL recently; you should have told me you were going to be on!

Ciao,
Julie

Cruise Control

Dear Madonna,

Driving back from Ottawa a few weeks ago (I was invited there to teach and deejay for Swing Dynamite's 4th Anniversary) and "picked up" a cute guy on the highway in black Mustang convertible. That is - he was driving at a consistent speed and positioned myself to follow at at safe distance.

It's a trick my friend, Dianne, taught me years ago: find someone driving the speed limit and cruise along behind - and it's a great strategy for someone with a (genetically predisposed?) tendency to speed. It reminded me of when I was working for Resorts Atlantic and I drove the Cabot Trail for the first time. I came across a guy on motorcycle, wearing one of those buckskin leather with fringe down both sleeves, and followed him for about an hour.

There's a dance analogy in there somewhere - keeping an even distance from the Leader, hanging back, but all the time controlling my own speed and power.

September was such a busy month, culminating with the Swing Niagara Dance Championships where I taught some classes and my dance team, "That's What I'm Talking About" competed. (The piece was choregraphed to Toronto Jazz/R&B singer Dione Taylor's song "Little Black Dress" and the girls all wore LBDs; the guys were in lavender shirts and skinny black ties.) We had a couple of really significant individaul wins (Yay Giselle! Yay Wij!) and as community we brought home the Pro-Am Challenge Cup. Go T.O.!!

Bye for now,

Julie

Booed in Bucharest?

Dear Madonna,

A piece in last weekend's Globe and Mail caught my eye: something about you speaking out against the discrimination against Gypsies and being booed for it. The article claimed you were surprised by the booing. I would be too.

I remember going to see a Flamenco performance of Carmen with my Flamenco teacher and fellow students. We went out to dinner afterwards with a few of the performers. My teacher spoke in great reverence of their heritage - they were "real Gypsies".

I wonder if it's a little like the disdain for Palestinians that you come across in the Middle East, where one of the greatest insults you can deliver is: "You don't even have a homeland".

Anyway, I'm overjoyed to report that Shoppe d'Or (a high-end consignment store in Yorkville) came through with their offer to donate clothing for our fundraising "swap" next month. I hope you don't mind that I'm using your image - fashion icon that you are - to promote the event.

The event takes place Thursday, October 8th a the Dovercourt House - in case you can make it. And if you want to donate any clothing - let me know!

Julie

Rules of Engagement

Dear Madonna,

First of all, you missed a fabulous weekend in Toronto. The 2Some Dance Event, and especially the "Westie Room" ROCKED the Hilton Toronto. The highlight for me was dancing an impromptu showcase piece with my good friend Mike Topel, Shelley, Nick & Clem. I haven't had as many bruises since I did those pole-dancing classes but it was a blast!

I'm dancing Tango tonight, which I lovingly think of as an excercise in submission - even more so when you take into account that Tango etiquette has a reputation for being, well, a bit harsh. I came across something this week that I found a bit disturbing:

http://www.close-embrace.com/invitingetiquette.html

It sent me back to review a hand-out I wrote a few years ago on the subject....

1. There are no gender rules for who asks whom to dance, i.e. it’s perfectly acceptable for gals to ask guys. (Or even for gals to ask gals and guys to ask guys. Hey – it’s only dancing!)

2. It’s not cool to turn down someone who asks you to dance. Notable exceptions:

(i) You’ve just danced to either a really fast song, or several songs in a row, and need to catch your breath and cool down, in which case you can tell the person that you will find them for a dance later - AND DO IT!

(ii) You really, really dislike the music that's playing; in which case, again, you can tell the person that you’ll get them for a better song later.

(iii) The person who asked you is drunk or has proven to be rough and difficult to dance with; you're legitimately concerned about your safety on the dance floor (and the safety of others.) Luckily this is a pretty rare worst-case scenerio.

3. Do you wanna dance? These behaviours will defnitely increase your floor-time.

(i) Bathe. Make sure your breath is fresh. If you tend to perspire heavily, consider bringing extra clothes to change into so that your partners don’t have to share your sweat.

(ii) Stay engaged in what’s going on. Stand, don’t sit. Watch the dancing, and see if there’s anyone you want to dance with. Chances are they’ll be flattered you asked.

(iii) Enjoy yourself while you’re dancing. Don’t hold back! Your energy and joy will attract partners, and admirers!

4. Good talk/bad talk. Good talk is when you compliment your partner. Bad talk is when you try to ‘teach’ or tell your partner what to do on the dance floor.

It's finally summer here in Toronto. I'm going to get on my bike today and enjoy it!

Julie

Something Stinks

Dear Madonna,

1. a garbage strike in Canada (Toronto)
2. a military coup in Honduras
3. a dengue fever outbreak in Mexico
4. a bubonic plague outbreak in North Africa
5. military rule and extortion in Thailand

Those were the news items - in order - covered in a recent World Travel Watch article in the San Francisco Chronicle. Now, I know all publicity is supposed to be good publicity but I wonder how Calgarians and Haligonians feel about being tarred with the same brush, so to speak, as my erstwhile squeaky clean city.

It's a bit unsightly, and even shocking, and to see litter overflowing from the garbarge recepticals around the city. Personally I'm not affected by any unpleasant odours - the one benefit of not having a sense of smell. It does make you look at all the trash created by places like fast food restaurants, though, as virtually all the litter you see are empty drink cups, plastic forks, and paper bags from doughnut, burger, and submarine sandwich shops.

I remember being in Cuba years ago and going for a 'caha' (literally a "box"): rice and beans, cheap, cheap served in a little cardboard box with a real metal fork. You ate your caha right there in the alleyway then returned the fork to be cleaned and re-used for another customer. Seems like a much better way.

Ciao,
Julie