Dear Madonna

Gettting Rubbed the Right Way

2012-01-23T19:35:00.000-05:00

Dear Madonna,

I barely had time to unpack my suitcase after ACC in Houston, do laundry, and re-pack for SwingVoucour in Vancouver. More than just a dance trip, I was overseeing the delivery of the event (as I'd booked the hotel), and took the time to conduct site inspections at six other hotels, both downtown and in Richmond. I took a client to lunch, met a colleague for dinner, and saw Bob Saget of all people perform at the Rver Rock Resort & Casino. My night at the beautiful Hotel Georgia afforded me the opportunity to swim in their saltwater lap pool, and have their driver, Jim, chauffeur me around in a Bentley! I got to get together with my first dance instructor, Graeme and his wife, Elizabeth, and was invited to help teach a couple of classes, but opted to get to the airport early and get some work down before my red-eye back to Toronto.

I knew I'd be feeling rough after a weekend of dancing, lack of sleep, and sitting all cramped up on a plane for four+ hours, so I'd booked a massage that the Stillwater Spa in the Hyatt - paid for in part by a gift certificate from one of my favourite sales people.  My massseur, a tall, Eastern Eureopean man, introduced himself and - even after asking him to say his name again - I swear he said Steely Dan.

Steely Dan had some smooth jazz playing in the treatment room and asked me if that was okay. He thanked me when I said yes, and didn't ask for "frogs and waterfalls".  I went for the eucalyptus-scented oil, even though I couldn't smell it, and gave the go-ahead for both scalp and glute massage.

To tell you the truth, I'm a little nervous about getting massages - not about being touched - but perhaps being touched too deeply. On more than one occasion I've started crying during a massage, and afterward I sometimes feel sick.

But Steely Dan did an amazing job. I swear he pulled out some moves I've never experienced before. And, of course, I've been a basket case ever since - but in a good way.

2012 - Bring It On!

2012-01-12T20:23:00.006-05:00

Dear Madonna,

I was in Montreal just before Christmas and I picked up a copy of the free newspaper Metro (Métro in French, with an accent aigu). *You* were on the cover, and inside there was an article: Le retour de Madonna - all about how you were going to dominate the news in 2012. I was able to read the piece, even though it was in French, and actually noticed a few similarities.

Une nouvelle tournee    A new tour? Me too! I'm starting the Masters Tour this weekend with my new partner, Larry (since The Meat lost all interest in competing or dancing West Coast Swing at all). Larry and I have been working together on a beautiful routine since last February and we're putting it on the floor for the first time competing against our peers at the America's Classic Championships (ACC) in Houston. Wish us luck!

Un nouveau film    W.E., which premiered at TIFF, I think, will be released in 2012. Congrats! I expect to be working with my Diva Productions partner, Shelley, on a cool corporate Flash Mob project (building on something we did last year) which will be filmed and shared through social media sites. I'll keep you posted.

Une nouvelle fragrance   Well, you've got me there. I stopped wearing perfume about three years ago, when I lost my sense of smell. :(

Une novel album     It's been more than three years since Hard Candy came out in 2008 - the same year as JulieFest. I'm sure that's why you couldn't make it to my party....

De nouvelles amies     As part of "Project Snowball" (inspired by Parker Dearborn's "Project Swing") I started offering free beginner classes, with Shelley's help, on the first Tuesday of the month. The momentum is growing and I'm developing strategic relationships and exploring exciting new marketing opportunities all the time.

ET LE SUPER BOWL!     With Cirque de Soleil? Sounds like it's going to be awsesome! If you want to watch *me* this weekend check out the free UStream link: http://www.ustream.tv/channel/americas-classic-free-channel (We're in Texas, so the U.S. Central Time Zone, or GMT - 6:00)

Ghost of Christmas Past

2011-12-18T11:22:00.000-05:00

Dear Madonna,

A couple of weeks ago I was invited to the Four Seasons Toronto's seasonal customer appreciation party. Along with an open bar and passed hors d'oeuvres there were cookie decorating stations set up. Geat fun! We were supplied with "blank" gingerbread men, snowmen and Christmas trees and all the "toppings": coloured icings in squeezable containters, sprinkles, gum drops, mini M&M's....

The hotel also provided beautiful boxes in which to carry home our creations. As I was carefully placing mine on the red and white shredded tissue paper I realized - with a start - that I had re-created my mother's Christmas tree: all blue and green.

I hadn't done it on purpose.

After Mom died, when we were cleaning out the house at 401 Elmwood, without a second thought I added the box marked "Christmas decorations" to the items that were to be sold at auction, grimly declaring: "There won't be any more Christmases."

Ha! In the decade since I've had to accept (kind of like the Grinch) that you can't stop Christmas. It's all-pervasive, even after your childhood traditions have ceased, and the blue and green Christmas decorations are long gone.

That said, I really liked seeing Mom's tree again.

Same Time Last Year

2011-11-23T20:29:00.007-05:00

Dear Madonna,

Last year at this time I was in Arizona, practicing with The Meat in preparation for our big US Open Debut. It was the culmination of months of travelling back and forth across the country and countless hours of practice - at Summers Danceworks on Prescott, the Dovercourt House, and on parquet dancefloors in hotel breakout rooms during event weekends. Our nerves were frayed and all the physical effort had taken its toll on The Meat's body.
I remember being terribly frustrated by the dodgy internet access in the hotel and feeling disconnected with my peeps despite Dana and Michelle being there sharing the experience with me.
This year its back to C.A.S.H. Bash in Cleveland with the whole gang. I have a new partner and a new routine - again the culmination of many months of practice, but without the travel. We'll be performing rather than competing, but will be critiqued by two of the Pros I admire most: Mario, who choreographed the piece, and Angel, who - uh - tells it like it is.
The nerves are fine. I think.

2011-11-09T15:24:00.004-05:00

Dear Madonna,

When I was 18 years old I went to New York for the first time and stayed at the legendary Waldorf= Astoria.

It was a graduation gift from my father, and my mother went with me. We visited the Metropolitan Museum of Art, walked around Times Square (much seedier than it is these days), and shopped at Lord and Taylor’s. My favourite memory, though, is of having drinks in the afternoon in the Waldorf’s “Peacock Alley”.

Mom chatted up piano guy – seriously! I had no idea she knew as much about music as she did. Of course married to my dad, how could she not? He was the son of a music teacher and played in marching bands, sang in competitions, and became a “Barbershopper” later in life. In fact the Barbershop conventions they attended were a bit like my west coast swing events.

Recently I was on a business junket to Florida and got to see the Waldorf Astoria Orlando. Not the same, of course, but I couldn’t resist getting my picture taken with the replica clock in the lobby.

Updated version of Peacock Alley.
Not at all like the original but dig the carpet!

Diversions

2011-08-01T10:33:00.005-04:00

Dear Madonna,
I hear your new film, W.E., will have it's premier at the Toronto International Film Festival - and that you'll be coming to Toronto! That's awesome!!

Listen, I know you'll be pretty busy with the Gala, meetings with distributors and media interviews or whatever, but if you want a bit of an escape from the paparazzi while you're here, let me tell you what we're doing.

DIVA ROAD TOUR! - SEPTEMBER 11
A weekend away with my BFF Shelley - YAY! We're driving to Toledo, Ohio in her new "A Car" nto meet with Doug Rousar and talk about plans for the Spotlight Dance New Year's Eve Celebrations. Well, she's meeting with Doug and her co-emcee, Chris; I'm really just along for the ride. You could join us!

10th ANNIVERSARY PARTY - TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 13
This is taking place during my weekly West Coast Swing dance party - preceded by classes, as usual - at the Dovercourt House. I'm commissioning a cake from our resident dancer-cum-pastry-chef, Jade (OMG you'll love it!) and marking the occasion with pictures and stories from when I first started teaching in September of 2001. We've come a long way, Baby!

ACROBAT NIGHT CLUB - FRIDAY, SEPETEMBER 16
Kathleen Campbell has invited me to teach a Beginner West Coast Swing lesson to the regular crowd of Salsa dancers, many of whom have been getting into Hustle. We're staging a Flash Mob this month at the clube to create some interest - the same choreography as the one we did at the CN Tower. Did I send you that clip?

Anyway, there's always lots to do. Nick might even organize one of his Thursday night outings to the Bier Markt. It would be cool if Dione Taylor's band, Soular was playing. They do a great cover of "Express Yourself"; may-be they'd invite you up on stage to sing with them?

My Jean Paul Gaultier

2011-07-17T15:15:00.023-04:00

Dear Madonna,

I was in Montreal last week and visited the Musee des Beaux Arts to see the fabulous Jean Paul Gaultier exhibition - "From Sidewalk to Catwalk".

Here I am with a "talking" Jean Paul Gaultier, welcoming me to the exhibit.

Absolutely stunning - and challenging - creations! The exhibition was curated to highlight his various collections and influences over the years - and when would one ever have the opportunity to get so close to couture?

Oh, okay - so you get to actually wear such pieces of art....

Actually, I have my own designer. Rod Philpott of Shkank created the purple and black catsuit I wore for my piece with "The Meat". Now that I'm working on a new routine with Larry I went back to him to come up with a new costume. I only had a couple of rough elements in mind; he sketched up something so quickly my head was spinning. Shelley revisted the shop with me yesterday to make a few minor adustments. It's going to be in a "Julie colour".

What's the Buzz?

2011-07-17T13:25:00.003-04:00

Dear Madonna,

I managed to get tickets yesterday to the nearly sold-out Stratford Festival production of Jesus Christ Superstar. It's getting rave reviews - B-word rumours abound - and I'm so excited that I'll be going with my brother Andy, and his girlfriend Tara.

Andy and I saw the show 35 years ago in London, England. We were there as a (migrant) family, moving from Ottawa, Ontario Canada to "Camp C" in the middle of the Saudi Arabian desert. Our stop in London included the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace, shopping at Harrod's and "Marks and Sparks", and a night out at the theatre.

As I recall, Dad surprised us by buying theatre tickets for Mom and himself to see something a bit more adult, and he bought three tickets for Andy, Mike and me to see Jesus Christ Superstar. We were loaded into a London cab outside the Four Seasons Hotel and sent to the West End to enjoy the "Rock Opera" live on stage.

I owned the album, which came out before it was ever a theatrical production, and knew every word. I think I still do, in fact. I also seem to remember studying the libretto in Grade Eight music class.

In other, unrelated and perhaps ironic news: I joined the online dating service JDate in the hopes of meeting a nice Jewish guy. Wish this Shiksa Goddess luck!

I Just Haven't Met You Yet

2011-06-16T10:52:00.002-04:00

Dear Madonna,

I attended a lovely event at the Art Gallery of Ontario last night hosted by the Spanish Tourism Consul and convention bureaus from Barcelona, Adalucia, and Costa del Sol. It promised to be an informative workshop highlighting the benefits of bringing meetings and incentive groups to Spain, combined with a "Wine Tasting Experience". I imagined a convivial evening shared with industry acquaintances (check), an opportunity to make new vendor contacts (check), and perhaps a enjoy a trip down memory lane recalling my visit to Barcelona with Cava-Karen, accompanied by a glass of Cava (check and check).

I did not expect to fall in love - with Malaga. The cute Deputy Director of the Costa Del Sol Tourist Board - he claimed to be 62 and attributed his youthful appearance to the Thalassa Spas built around the region's natural spring waters - shared a compelling presentation which talked about Malaga's museums and art galleries (this is the birthplace of Picasso, to name just one), antiquities (a Moorish fortress and Roman amphitheatre - both available for group functions!), modern outdoor pedestrian shopping malls, and the ability to take day-trips to Tangiers in Morocco, to the beach resort town of Marbella (whose port is currently be developed a-la-Dubai with Arab money), or even travel by fast train to the country's capital, Madrid. All that combined with Mediterranean food, climate, and a dash of Flamenco....be still my heart.

This is where I'll be spending my honeymoon.

DIY Kisses

2011-02-11T17:29:00.001-05:00

Dear Madonna,

May-be it’s the whole Valentine’s Day-chocolate association but today I had a sudden craving for chocolate meringue cookies.

Not just any chocolate meringue cookies – although from what I can see all the recipes are quite similar – but the ones my mother used to make. They were called “Eight Calorie Chocolate Kisses”. I searched in vain my recipe binder then Googled “chocolate meringue cookies” and found several recipes. One endorsed by the Heart and Stroke Association of Canada. Another endorsed (sort of) by... *you*! You’re quoted as saying:

"This is a meringue cookie with a double chocolate taste. Store these in an air tight container."

Anyway, as I said all the recipes sound pretty much the same, and resemble what I remember from my mother’s: egg whites, cocoa, sugar, cream of tartar…. What is cream of tartar anyway? There are even some recipes that pop up when you search “chocolate meringue kisses”.

For Valentine’s day, in the absence of the real thing – kisses, I mean – I think I’ll enjoy some meringue.

One Perfect Day

2011-02-05T11:33:00.007-05:00

Dear Madonna,

Have you ever flown United Airlines? Their inflight magazine, Hemispheres, must be available in First Class. I love the Three Perfect Days pieces, don't you?

Anyway - I recently spent One Perfect Day with my Sister-By-Choice, Penny in Ottawa.

I woke up in Penny's third floor bedroom, surrounded by sunflowers and angels on the wall. It was a sunny, cloud-free winter morning so we bundled up and walked over to the Rideau Canal ("The World's Largest Skating Rink") for a brisk skate. In the afternoon we headed to Le Nordik spa in Quebec where we did "the baths": outdoor hot-tubs and cool water dipping pools - also wet and dry saunas and "quiet rooms".

We had dinner at a busy pub in the nearby village - I had a yummy bison burger, and Penny loved the micro-brewery beer they served. Back in Ottawa we went straight to the National Arts Centre where we had tickets to see The Year of Magical Thinking - a one-woman play based on the Joan Didion novel of the same name. The tickets were my Christmas gift to Penny.

I'm reading the book, now. Penny thinks one of her real sisters gave it to me right after my brother, Mike died. Penny was dating Mike at the time, and I ended up giving her the book - which is about the sudden death of Joan Didion's husband and her subsequent period of grieving. It's a bit strange that I only met Penny once while he was still alive, and in fact now I've known her more than twice as long a he did. We've become so close ince he left us, and I understand so completely why he loved her - I love her, too. As someone noted recently, Penny is a gift Mike left to me.

After the play we went to Penny's neighbourhood pub, Irene's (where she and Mike first met). They were having their weekly Blues Showcase - awesome! Loved the music, and it was so fun watchng various musicians being welcomed to the stage - most of them obviously regulars to the scene.

We went back to Penny's house, got into our jammies (thanks, Theresa), threw in a DVD, and ate a massive bowl of popcorn. I retired to my sunflower/angel room on the third floor and Penny's new kitten, Baby Gaga, curled up beside me and purred.

Perfect.

Julie

FOR SALE: one slightly-used US Open costume

2011-01-19T18:30:00.000-05:00

Dear Madonna,

You'll have to have it shortened, but this would look *great* on you! Perhaps you could use it on your next tour?

Sadly *I* won't be needing it again. The Meat has lost all interest in competing, performing, or attending West Coast Swing events in general.

I was really hoping for a longer run - to improving the routine over time and to growing my own dancing within the choreography and beyond.

Sigh.

Looking Way Back

2011-01-12T21:51:00.001-05:00

Dear Madonna,

Going through some old family photo albums recently I came across this amazing picture of my Great-Grandmother Clark, taken in 1906. I'd never seen it before. The accompanying notes, in my Grandmother's distinctive handwriting, talked about how her father was invited to come to Queen's University to head up the Physics department. (He would eventually become the Dean of Engineering and start the tech supplies store and Engineering Pub: Clark Hall).

My Grandmother goes on to say how her mother had two dresses made in honour of the move. She describes the one above, the 'Paper dress', in detail:

"It was sea-green crepe over a green taffeta petticoat. The petticoat rustled as she walked - hence the name 'Paper' dress coined by me."

My my memories of Grandma Clark are of an elderly woman, widowed around the time my parents married, living in a big house near the Queen's campus, serving afternoon tea. I (obviously) never knew her as a young mother with an (enviably!) tiny waist, but I do know that she lived well into her 90's and apparently touched her toes every morning when she got out of bed.

My own mother passed along many of her expressions. For instance, as I was headed out somewhere all dressed up she would say: "If you act as nice as you look you'll do just fine", and another favourite: "Horses sweat, gentlemen perspire, and ladies glow".

Looking Back - Part 2

2010-12-28T14:59:00.000-05:00

Dear Madonna,

More highlights of 2010....

At the Michigan Classic I danced in the Advanced Strictly Swing competition with Nelson Clarke, who was amazing - as usual. We made one enormous error - pictured above - which we wouldn't be able to repeat if we tried, but the judges liked our performance, or perhaps our recovery, and gave us my first (and so far only) "picket fence" win. Thanks, Nelson!

I brought home two beautiful trophies from the Liberty Swing Dance Championships, and made multiple trips to the podium at Kansas City, Swing Niagara, and Sea to Sky. So, yeah, it was a great year competitively - and I don't dare start thanking all my Leaders in case I forget someone. I also got to dance "spotlight" at a number of events this year - always a huge (albiet terrifying) thrill.

Apart from all the travel back and forth across the continent to rehearse with The Meat and attend dance events, I actually had some memorable business trips: to Regina (where I flirted with Mounties and went to my first Riders game), to beautiful Kelowna, British Columbia, and to Atlanta - where I fulfilled a life-long dream to dance in a cage, like Go-Go Girl.

West Coast Swing in Toronto continued to flourish in 2010, with the Toronto Open Swing Dance Championships (TOSH) taking place in July, "Hustle/Salsa/Swing" nights that were launched at 6 Degrees, and WCS Wednesdays which ran for about six months at Alleycatz. Still going strong are Elaine's dances in Ancaster, and the Toronto Swing Dance Society provides ongoing support and encouragemnt to the greater Swing community. And of course Tuesday nights at the Dovercourt House remain my most passionate focus: providing valuable instruction and a fun and friendly dance environment for WCS dancers of all levels.

Diva Productions hosted a workshop (with TSDS) to welcome John Kirkconnell to Ontario; Vancouver's loss has been our gain. Our annual CAMH Benefit Dance was well-supported with generous donations from West Coast dancers, and a grand prize courtesy of the Toronto International Swing Dance Championships.

Oh, and all the home projects I had planned for 2010 that didn't get accomplished? I'll get around to them this year for sure.

Julie

Looking Back

2010-12-22T15:53:00.001-05:00

Dear Madonna,

I came across this picture recently from one of our Salsa Burlesque performances, in February or March, I think. It made me stop and realise what an incredible year it's been for performing, travelling, competing....

On the heels of my turn as "Ginger Von Plume" with GoDanceMambo and the girls, I started rehearsals at the National Ballet School to take part in the Flash Mob at the Eaton Centre in April.

Then in May, at SwingDiego, I met "The Meat", and embarked on the journey that would culminate in competing at the US Open.

Who knows what 2011 will bring, but I'll be ringing in the New Year at an event near Boston, New Year's Dancin' Eve...and I'm packing my purple boa ;)

Julie

The Time of My Life

2010-12-05T09:11:00.003-05:00

Dear Madonna,

The Meat was holding out on me. The week before the Open he went for x-rays of his elbow and knee and was told by his doc that he had hairline fractures in both joints. Of course he didn't tell *me* that until after we'd danced in both the Semis and the Finals - that's right, we made Finals, and actually opened the Saturday night show!

For my part, I got some very, very sad news that Saturday morning. That, coupled with lack of sleep and perfomance anxiety, had me feeling extremely fragile all day. I would have burst into tears if anyone had looked at me the wrong way - although you wouldn't know it from any of the pictures. In each and every shot I'm grinning ear-to-ear, and appear to be relaxed, confident, and (thanks to Dana's make-up artistry) quite glamorous. That in itself deserves a medal, don't you think?

In retrospect it was a bit disappointing to finish just outside the top five, but I think we were very lucky to take 6th in a field of 15 couples - some of whom were seasoned competitors, and *all* were great to watch - once we had put our piece on the floor and I was no longer too nervous to take a look at the other routines.

Sadly. my love affair with Chase was cut short when a younger woman caught his eye:

The entire event seems like a bit of a dream, now. We saw such incredible peformances - from Showcase, to Classic, to the wildly talented Junior divsion - and laughed at the (very cool) floor sweepers and the antics of the Pros during the Swing Challenge. My peeps back in Toronto and those who were attending CASH Bash in Cleveland sent their love and support and have assured me that I made Toronto proud.

So what's up next? The Meat and I can take part in the Masters Tour starting with the America's Classic in January....

I've already booked my flights!

Julie

3,2,1!

2010-11-25T14:22:00.000-05:00

Dear Madonna,

One more sleep until we head to the Open. The Meat, Summer, and I will be driving down to Phoenix tonight and stay at Helen's condo before our morning flight to Burbank, and then everything will start happening pretty quickly.

We have a mandatory competitors' meeting at 2:00 p.m. - which I suppose will be huge, as there's only one such meeting scheduled the entire weekend. Opening ceremonies are at 7:00 p.m., with participants staging at 6:30 p.m. The Meat thinks I'll be able to do my Canadian flag bearing duties, plant the flag, and double back to walk in with all the Masters Competitors. He's also marching in twice, both as a competitor and a sponsor to of the Young American division.

Speaking of which, have I told you about the new man in my life? His name is Chase. He and his partner, Anika are also dancing at the US Open for the first time. We social danced a bit at the studio after one of their practices this week and we both fell madly in love.

My gal Tina did my hair yesterday - she uses these huge rollers and sticks me under the dryer to straighten it, and I scored five pairs of false eyelashes for a dollar a pair at Target, so with Dana's help I should be able to make myself stage-worthy on Saturday. We'll actually be performing twice: Semis at 11:00 a.m. and Finals at 7:00 p.m.

I'm just worried about getting the Meat up for our floor trials at 6:30 a.m. He is *not* a morning person.

5,4...

2010-11-23T11:29:00.001-05:00

Dear Madonna,

Meet my "Alteration Angel", the Meat's seamstress, Margie.

Has it ever happened to you, during a performance, that you hear a rrrrrrrip sound? Well, it happened to me during our demo Sunday night at the swing dance in Phoenix. I heard it, kept going, and was having so much fun I didn't really notice until the next morning: a big split in the seams under the right arm of my costume!

Margie to the rescue - and as Joanna said, if you're going to have a wardrobe malfunction, better now than at the Open!!!

7,6....

2010-11-21T12:56:00.003-05:00

Dear Madonna,

When I first started dancing West Coast Swing I remember coming to Phoenix for a business trip. My friend, Kathy, who introduced me to WCS originally in New York, happened to be in California on business, too. Her mother was living in Scottsdale at the time so we both extended our trips to spend the weekend in Arizona.

Her niece drove up from Tuscon, and the three of us went out Salsa dancing on the Saturday night. Then on the Sunday night we went to the Greater Phoenix Swing Dance Society's dance at the Elks Lodge.

We were warmly welcomed as out-of-towners, who had "found" their dance on the internet - still a rather novel occurance. I remember it was a bit of a challenge dancing with Leaders who wanted to chat at the same time; I was still counting 1,2, 3&4, 5&6 in my head!

It must have been in November, just prior to the Open, because we got to see a demo of a performance by club members who were going to the US Open soon to compete. (I remember it was Gary Jobst dancing to "Knock, knock, knock on wood").

Well, here we are, years later: it's November, I'm in Arizona, and I'm going to be demo-ing *my* US Open routine with The Meat *tonight* at a swing dance in Phoenix.

Amazing!

10, 9, 8....

2010-11-19T20:29:00.007-05:00

Dear Madonna,

The countdown is really on. It's now just eight (8) days until The Meat and I compete at the US Open. Can you believe it?

I arrived in Prescott today for a week of rehearsing before we head to California. Of course we won't be spending every minute of every day in the dance studio. For one thing, Summer's Dancework's is busy during the day with classes in Ballet, Tap, Jazz and Hip-Hop - ages three to 87(!). For another, there's just so much abuse The Meat's body can take hauling my heavy a** over his head.

Or so he likes to say.

I'll be here for U.S. Thanksgiving, which we'll share with Summer and her family. Apparently we're going to see a High School play tomorrow night. I've got a few things to keep me busy but I suspect I'll be crawling the walls and *more* than ready to get on that plane to Burbank next Friday.

And for some reason I can't get the Queen song "Don't Stop Me Now" out of my head....

True Patriot Love

2010-11-15T10:28:00.002-05:00

Dear Madonna,

I'm going to be the official Canadian flag carrier at the opening ceremonies at the US Open! Wow....it's kinda like the Olympics!!

The call for volunteers came out last week and I thought I should check with Myles and Tessa - but they've carried the Maple Leaf several times so are okay with letting me do the honours.

Apparently there's a parade of competitors, with all the American States lined up, and then the countries. Carriers are to keep the flag rolled up until the competitors' march is completed. Robert Royston will announce the American states in alphabetical order, and then the countries repesented. Each carrier will is to go to the front edge of the floor in turn, present their flag, and "Feel free to move and wave your flag."

Oh, I will, baby...I will.

Lessons from BOTB

2010-11-08T19:05:00.000-05:00

I caught Battle of the Blades last night. That's the the über-Canadian reality show that pairs retired NHL hockey players with figure skating superstars to compete as couples - complete with choreography, costumes, and crazy-ass lifts. They perform a new piece each week, and each week one couple gets voted "off". The ultimate winners take nothing home for themselves except bragging rights; money is donated to their chosen charity.

Their commitment and sacrifices were highlighted in short vignettes between performances showing how the contestants balance a brutal training schedule with their regular busy lives and family obligations. The hockey players, in particular, are pushing themselves way outside their comfort zone, and even as atheletes everyone has to be diligent about staying injury-free.

There was high drama, too, when the custom-made skates of two-time Olympic champion, Ekaterina Gordeeva got delayed due to a flight misconneciton and almost didn’t make it to the rink in time.

I am so not checking my US Open costume!

The Colour Purple

2010-11-05T13:45:00.000-04:00

Dear Madonna,

I can't believe I had to make another trip this week to the hospital - this time due to an injury to one of my toes! It was a dancing accident, which happened during one of our weekly Tuesday night practices at the Dovercourt House, and before some hapless Leader gets blamed I might as well come clean and admit that it was totally self-inflicted.

"The Meat" was understandably concerned; the US Open is less than a month away, and we can't really change the choreography - as Nick suggested - so that we do the entire routine on The Meat's shoulders!

The toe is actually feeling a lot better today. I have a bandage on to stablize it a bit, so haven't checked if the bruising has gone down...

Seriously, the only purple I want to see on November 27th is my costume.

Julie

The only purpl

One Year Anniversary

2010-11-02T07:07:00.000-04:00

Dear Madonna,

I went for for my every-three-month "mole patrol" exam yesterday. It was at Women's College Hospital, where my GP first identified the offending spot which turned out to be Melanoma. WCH is a teaching hospital, so the first part of the examination is usually conducted by a resident - invariably some cute young guy. I'd flirt, but I don't want to distract him.

The one year anniversary is significant in that from now on I can reduce the trips to the dermatology department at WCH to every six months.

In the meantime: sunscreen!

Julie

Hard Candy

2010-10-29T09:52:00.002-04:00

Dear Madonna,

I was (appropriately) working out when I saw on the news channel that you're opening your own chain of gymnasia: Hard Candy Fitness. Love it! And the first one will be in Mexico City? Any plans to come to Canada? Although I'm very loyal to my gym, Christine's....

That album cover reminds me of something that happened this past summer. I was boarding my plane back from a dance event in Kansas City - where I cleaned up, by the way - when I saw someone carrying one of those prize-fighting belts you're wearing. Turns out this guy, a very attractive man in his 50's, had just wone some big Masters amateur boxing title. I piped up that I had won a "Masters" title in dancing! We talked a bit about our day jobs, and he asked me for my card. I was thinking - hoping, actually - that we may end up doing a few rounds on the mat, but his assistant called the next week to ask about booking meetings.

Bummer.

Julie

In Praise of GWPs

2010-10-20T13:29:00.001-04:00

Dear Madonna,

I lost my purse last night. Or it was stolen. The latter still makes me sick to my stomach so I'm trying not to think about it. In addition to my phone, credit and bank cards, etc. I realized this morning that most of my make-up is gone. This just added insult to injury since, as a red-head, I don't normally leave my condo without mascara.

I happened to remember seeing an ad in the weekend Globe about a Lancome's Gift With Purchase offer at The Bay. Arriving at the cosmetic counter wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses I told the sales clerk what had happened. A lovely Asian woman of indeterminate age, she was genuinely sympathetic and helpful in helping me make my selections, and insisted I get the *red* make-up bag to bring positive energy into my life. At the end of our transaction she gave me a big hug and said that everything was going to be alright.

I believe her.

On The Fly

2010-10-07T11:04:00.000-04:00

Dear Madonna,

Standing in line at Starbucks at the Minneapolis airport for a much-needed Short Bold, I struck up a conversation with a pilot wearing a pink tie. Turns out he was to be my pilot, to Phoenix, and the pink tie is in honour of Breast Cancer Awareness Month. He also told me that Delta Airlines flies a pink plane for the entire month of October.

I’m off to meet The Meat again. A couple of days of rehearsals at Summers Danceworks in Prescott, then we head off to San Francisco for Boogie By The Bay, may-be to put our routine on the floor again, may-be to work with one of the pros to “juice” it up a bit.

I so want to ride in the pink plane, though, don’t you?

Focus, Julie.

Another One Bites the Dust

2010-10-02T20:27:00.000-04:00

Dear Madonna,

One of my favourite bowls was broken this week. I won't go into what happened exactly - suffice to say that Zouk was involved - but the bowl itself is was hand-made by my cousin NJ, and therefore irreplaceable. It's also irreparable, although I can't bring myself to throw out the pieces.

When I visited Cava-Karen in England a few years ago she had a box fillled with broken crockery, and plans to somehow, someday make mosaics out of all the broken cups and bowls and plates in her life. Funny thing is, I have a box like that too!

In our dotage, perhaps, somewhere on the French coastline, Karen and I will craft beautiful mosaics filled with memories.

Ciao,
Julie

You know it's for real when....

2010-09-30T16:17:00.001-04:00

Dear Madonna,

Well we did it. With all the travel and rehearsals (and juggling of our "real" jobs), the deadline kind of snuck up on us, but yesterday I got the confirmation email:
=====================================
You have regsitered for the US Open.
=====================================
Yikes!
The Meat and I actually performed our routine for the first time this past weekend at Swing Niagara - knowing we'd be disqualified based on one of the elements, but it was important to get it out there, in costume, and on a competition floor.
Speaking of floors....I seem to remember reading a profile of Benji and Heidi in 5678Swing magazine - years ago! - in which Heidi was quoted saying something to the effect "We've done everything we can to get ready for this moment; the only thing can't control is the floor". So true! All of the competitors were affected, but (thankfully!) nobody got hurt.
Oh, and gremlins got into the computers on which they were managing all the competitions and scoring - that was a drag - but otherwise the event was a blast! Toronto did amazingly well in all the competitions, and we defended the Pro-Am Challenge Cup.
Grapes and Ju-Jubes for all!!!
Ciao,
Julie

Pin-up Girl

2010-09-21T16:01:00.002-04:00

Dear Madonna,

Thanks for the 16-month calendar, although I was expecting something with squares for each day of the month where I could write down my appointments, dance events, etc. Instead each month features a two-page spread of...well, you.

TTYL,
Julie

Beam Me Up, Scottie!

2010-09-18T07:56:00.001-04:00

Dear Madonna,

I picked up my US Open costume this week from Shkank. The Spandex feels *awesome* on, and the sequins really catch the light - but it has a bit of a Star Trek thing happening, don't you think? Anyway, Shelley has given it her style stamp of approval, and I test-danced it last night with Nick. No major problems - whew! The Meat's matching shirt will be ready next Thursday, just in time for Swing Niagara.

Meanwhile, the Meat is following doctor's orders for his shoulder, which blew out on him last week in Phoenix. Yikes! We're really getting close now and after all this time and effort (and expense) neither one of us can afford to get injured.

Now I have to figure out how to put on false eyelashes... Any hints?

Ciao,
Julie

Mi Casa Es Una Casita

2010-09-11T21:29:00.000-04:00

Dear Madonna,

Greetings from the Hilton Pointe at Squaw Peak in Phoenix, Arizona. The Meat and I are nicely ensconced in a bi-level Casita and had a productive rehearsal this afternoon in one of the breakout rooms reserved for Private lessons. The ending still needs work, but it's getting there.

I started my day with a Zumba class and a bit of lifting at the gorgeous fitness facility/spa here at the resort, and went back this evening to get a $15 manicure and margarita. (OPI's "Meet Me at the Star Ferry, in case you wanted to know.)

The Meat's girlfriend, Summer, just arrived - quite unexpectedly; a wonderful surprise for both of us. He's been whining about wanting a massage.... So I guess I'm sleeping on the pull-out couch downstairs tonight - which fine by me; I'll probably stay up much later dancing tonight anyway.

Yesterday I put my hotel hat on for a couple of hours and did site inspections of this hotel, its sister property, The Pointe at Tapatio, and The Different Pointe of View, a stunning Four Diamond restaurant - newly renovated - overlooking the entire valley. Hence the generous upgrade to this lovely Casita (plus cheese plate and bottle of Canyon Road Merlot.)

I love my job.

Julie

Meet "The Meat"

2010-09-05T08:48:00.003-04:00

Dear Madonna,

I can't believe I haven't told you about this already: yours truly will be competing at this year's US Open Swing Dance Championships.

My partner, affectionately known as "The Meat", picked me up - quite literally - at SwingDiego last May. We met late one night before the awards ceremony for his "kids" (he coaches a couple of young competitive dancers - so cute!) and started practicing the next day.

I should mention that the US Open is the most prestigious competition on the West Coast Swing dance circuit. We're competing as Masters - over 50 years old - so the field is somewhat limited, but there are some very experienced competitors in that division, well-known to the judges, and probably accustomed to the pressure of dancing on the US Open floor.

I should also mention that The Meat lives in Prescott, Arizona. It's been a *crazy* schedule of travelling and meeting up at dance events all over the country in order to finish the choreography, rehearse, and get private coaching sessions. He's here in Toronto this week, and we've ordered our costumes - so the whole thing is getting more and more real.

The Meat heads back to Arizona on Monday, then I fly out there on Wednesday and attending Desert City Swing (http://www.desertcityswing.com/) next weekend . He'll be back here again just before Swing Niagara (http://www.swingniagara.com/) where we hope to put the routine on the floor for the first time.

I keep imagining Robert Royston, the emcee for the US Open, announcing: "From Prescott, Arizona, and Toronto, Canada...."

Ciao,
Julie

Why Ain't It Always Summer?

2010-08-19T21:08:00.005-04:00

When I was about 10 years old we went on a family holiday to Prince Edward Island. It was a dream vacation to for me, as I was a HUGE L.M. Montgomery fan. I'd read Anne of Green Gables, Anne of Avonlea, Anne of the Island, Anne's House of Dreams, Emily of New Moon, Rilla of Ingleside, Mistress Pat, Pat of Silver Bush, A Tangled Web....but of course it was Anne of Green Gables that almost single-handedly launched the Island's tourism industry, with the *real* Green Gables a much-visited tourist attraction attached to a golf course in Cavenish.

My father bought us tickets to see Anne of Green Gables the Musical at the Confederation Centre in Charlottetown. I adored the show and was allowed to get the original cast recording - on vinyl no less - which I played over and over on my parent's stereo in our basement in Ottawa.

By far my favourite song was the one where Gilbert and the boys are complaining about going back to school. I remember they danced barefoot, the point being that putting shoes on again after a summer of going barefoot, well, sucks.

"Why ain't it always summer?
It would be geat -
Singing around the campfire,
Staying up late.
Might even take a chance on a romance or two,
Why ain't it always summer?
It's over too soon."

This week I attended the annual IncentiveWorks conference and tradeshow, which pretty much demanded that I get out of my Lululemons and put on some more business-like attire , so I wore a bone-coloured Anne Klien suit. I couldn't, however, bring myself to wear closed shoes. My brown Oakley flip flops may have been a bit of a fashion faux pas, but they sure were comfy!

Julie

The Best of Dances, The Worst of Dances

2010-06-12T06:27:00.003-04:00

Dear Madonna,

I competed at the Michigan Classic last weekend and achieved my first "picket fence" win. That's when all the judges have you in first place so that the number 1's line up like a picket fence....and that was despite a pretty spectacular error.

Same event - same day, even - I danced in another division and was placed DFL, or Dead F***ing Last. That was another first for me and I'm owning it - which is, of course, easier to do (as Michelle said) when I have a Picket Fence to hide behind - but being at both ends of the spectrum does speak to the immediacy of dance, and how it is appreciated (and judged ) so much in the moment.

Was I better - or worse - dancer from one contest to the next? Of course not. And as much as I appreciate the feedback from judges and coaches, the biggest trophy I received all weekend was from my partner in the Novice Hustle Jack & Jill who told me - very sincerely - how much he enjoyed dancing with me.

That trumps a Picket Fence any day.

Ciao,
Julie

Ma Vie En Rose

2010-05-20T11:25:00.002-04:00

Dear Madonna,

It started innocently enough.

A few years ago I had a dance team called 24 Feet of Funk - made up of six couples - get it? They were getting ready to make their debut at the Toronto Swing Dance Society's Open House and I wanted to wear something that would connect me to the team, without actually dressing in costume. The Followers were in all black with a hot pink hip-band, so I settled on a Nike baseball cap in hot pink.

Little did I know that that would be the thin edge of the rose-coloured wedge.

Today I own a plethera of pinkish T-shirts (which I wear to work out in, along with afore-mentioned pink baseball cap.) My iPod is pink, and there are touches of pink peppered throughout my wardrobe: pink piping on my 'Damzels' dress that Cava-Karen bought for me, pink trim on the Pink Tartan jacket I bought on sale in Syracuse with Dana, and a pink broad-rimmed hat which I bought to wear to Ben and Crystal's wedding.

I'm wearing that hat quite often these days to protect my sun-sensitive skin. You wouldn't believe the compliments I get from complete strangers - men! - on the street. The attention causes me to blush - a subtle shade of...

Julie

P.S. You can see me in my pink baseball cap and pink top in the National Ballet School's official video of our 2010 International Dance Day "flash mob" performance at the Toronto Eaton Centre:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAIzXPqwcag&feature=fvw

International Dance Day Eve

2010-04-28T13:19:00.000-04:00

Dear Madonna,

Well tomorrow's the big day: our International Dance Day performance at the Eaton Centre. We have one more rehearsal tonight in the actual space, around the fountain. I'm coming on fairly early in the dance but I still have to pretend to be an ordinary shopper, feigning interest in a store window or something when the music starts - then running (and dancing) into position on cue.

I'm going to miss rehearsals at the National Ballet School. In fact I very nearly *missed* the last rehearsal there on Monday. In a panic to be on time I grabbed a cab and when I told him "400 Jarvis" he said right away: "Ah - the National Ballet School", asking if I was a ballerina. Not wanting to make things complicated I laughed and said something like "wannabee ballerina", though I don't know if he understood.

Then he starting talking about how I must like Tchaikovsky and Rimsky-Korsakov, and fiddling with the radio until he found a classical station. He may have even been Russian himself. We both fell silent when something sweet and soothing was found, putting my rattled nerves at ease so that I arrived relaxed and ready to dance.

He dropped me off at the same place all the other ballerinas were being dropped off.

Julie

SATC Meets WCS

2010-04-22T08:58:00.000-04:00

Dear Madonna,

So I finally saw the tribute to you that aired on Glee this week; PA sent me a link.

It's actually the first time I've seen the show. I don't watch much TV. Thanks to a little Christmas Elf, though, I have the complete DVD collection of Sex and the City. I like to put on a single episode late at night when I come home from dancing - kind of like my own SATC-TV.

Lately I've started to fantasize about what it would be like if the characters from Sex and the City danced West Coast Swing...

Charlotte would have a classic approach to the dance, preferring 6- and 8-count patterns to crazy amalgamations. Her syncopations would always be feminine, lady-like, and perfectly chosen to accompany accents in the music. I see her as a very focused and strategic competitor - always searching for the perfect partner to do Strictlys, and ultimately grooming someone to compete with her in Rising Star.

Miranda is also a no-fluff kind of dancer, and is pretty strict about keeping things inside the dance ("It's walk, walk, triple, triple - how hard can that be?"). In Jack & Jills she's a bit of a magnet for, uh, "challenging" draws. She has a slightly addictive personality so stays up very late social dancing at events, still getting up early for the morning workshops. She loves dancing to Blues more than contemporary and watches YouTube clips constantly.

Samantha of course is the consumate Jack & Jill competitor - anything more than a minute with a single partner and she gets bored. She's more than happy to dance outside the box, is a little more "out there" in her styling - which is always executed with complete confidence. Sam's up for anything that will give her more floor-time: Bookends, Three-ways, and anything with lifts and tricks. She lives for dancing spotlight.

Carrie has a kind of style of dancing West Coast that somehow only she can get away with. Even her Jack & Jill outfits are risky: she gets noticed on the dance floor but has had more than one wardrobe malfunction. Carrie's always questioning her own abilities, and takes a ton of Private lessons, making copious notes - on her lap-top, of course. She owns an inordinate number of dance shoes.

New York, the "fifth girl" in the series, happens to be where I saw West Coast Swing the first time and where some of my best memories of the dance were formed. Like West Coast Swing it's exciting, challenging, and resilient - always evolving but true to its own, unique essence.

Hmm - kind of like someone else I know.

Until next time....vogue, vogue, vogue, vogue
Julie

No Spring Kitten

2010-03-23T14:44:00.001-04:00

Dear Madonna,

According to the chart in the vet's office, my cats are about my age - in cat years. But unlike me, they haven't made any age-appropriate lifestyle changes. Nor do they floss regularly.

Poor, toothless Zouk.

Julie

Pulling Up My Big Girl Panties

2010-03-17T20:36:00.000-04:00

Dear Madonna,

I was at the Chicago Classic last weekend and actually made Finals in both the Advanced and Masters divisions of the Jack & Jill contests. Unfortunately I missed that one line in the Sunday schedule that said "All J&J Finalists must check in with the Head Judge (a.k.a. "God") between 9:00 am and 11:00 am." I showed up at 11:05 to the news that I had been "scratched" from both competitions.

In quick succession I went through several of the stages of grief: shock, pain, anger, depression -not to mention getting on my knees (literally) to "God", tearing up in front of one of the event directors, and pointing the finger of blame towards others - and the system - rather than accepting responsibility for my own oversight.

Thank you, Crystal, for your empathy and encouragement to "move on". It was indeed a learning opportunity - for me and hopefully others.

Until next time,

Julie

Narcimasochism

2010-03-06T09:36:00.000-05:00

Dear Madonna,

My mother used to say that men had no idea how much money women spent to look as good as they do. She was pretty "low maintance" herself and would be shocked at my indulgence in professional blow-drys and regular mani-pedis.

Then there are the services and fashions that not only cost money, but involve some serious discomfort - or worse. History is full of examples: from Chinese foot-binding to Scarlett-O'Hara-esque corsettes synched to the point of "swooning". Even those SATC staples, Manolo Blahniks, must have some pretty painful repurcussions.

You know that feeling of getting your hair yanked through a rubber cap with a crochet hook? And don't we all look forward to those bikini-waxing appointments?

I'm happy to report the swelling is going down.

Julie

Linked Out

2010-03-04T05:48:00.000-05:00

Dear Madonna,

Are you on the (popular social networking site) Linkedin?

I opened an account a couple of years ago with my ConferenceDirect email address. Since then CD has changed the format of our email addresses, replacing the "underscore" with a "dot" between first and last name: julie.epplett@conferencedirect.com

My bad: I neglected to make the change on Linkedin so am effectively locked out of my account, although I keep getting "updates". I've finally broken down and opened a *new* Linkedin account but am not convinced that my problems are over.

Julie

No Tutu, No Problem

2010-02-28T12:43:00.000-05:00

Dear Madonna,

I started rehearsals at the National Ballet School today for a performance to take place at the Eaton Centre on International Dance Day: April 29th.

The National Ballet School! I'd never even been in the building before. Years ago I joined my friend Dianne and her daughter Holly at the old location, when Holly auditioned (unsuccessfully) to join the school. There were tears, and burgers at Toby's on Church Street afterwards as I recall. My own experience as a ballerina was even less glamourous. Due to my less-than-svelte physique I was regularly cast in the role of "The Prince". No tutu for you.

I couldn't help thinking how appropriate it was that we were in the Veronica Tennant Studio. The first professional ballet performance I ever saw was Swan Lake at the National Arts Centre in Ottawa, with Veronica Tennant in the starring role. What I remember most about her dancing were her calves: they were as big and round as apples every time she was on pointe.

The instructor, Rachel, identified herself as a TTP - which I assume means "Teachers Training Program", or something like that. She's encouraged me to learn the entire piece, not just the chorus, even though I struggled a bit with the "rhythm part" at first. (My brain *was* a little foggy following Vinita's SATC birthday party last night). Rachel also teaches adult ballet at Joy of Dance - small (dance) world!

Gotta run...I have a bunch of stuff to do putting on my "True North Strong and Free" T-shirt and heading to the nearest bar to watch the final men's Olmpic hockey match: Canada versus the U.S. Our women's team already have taken Gold, and this is the last event of the games. A final win in "our game" will be such a great way to wrap up something that started out as the *Vancouver* Olympics but which really seemed to bring the entire country together.

I even got a Gold mani-pedi yesterday for luck!

Ciao for now,
Julie

Red Mitten Club

2010-02-13T07:50:00.000-05:00

Dear Madonna,

Well, the 2010 Winter Olympic Games just opened in Vancouver and I think it's safe to say that most Canadians are feeling a bit patriotic these days. It might be my imagination, but there seems to be an ubiquitous display of the word "CANADA" (or our cherished maple leaf) everywhere you look.

And then there are the mittens.

I've always fancied myself as a bit of a non-conformist (I'm sure you can relate) so am surprised by the inordinate pleasure I get from sharing in this unlikely fashion statement. My red "torchbearer" mittens were a thoughtful gift from the Hotel Place d'Armes in Montreal*

Anyway, I LOVE seeing other people wearing their red mittens - with ski jackets or fur coats, in the grocery store, at the movies, in Starbucks, on the TTC, walking around Yorkville, at the Canadian Tire, going for Sushi, waiting for a bank machine, skating at Ramsden Park, buying a Globe and Mail...

I keep thinking we should be acknowledging each other in some way - with a special Red Mitten handshake or salute. At the very least a wave (the way boaters wave to each other or to people sitting on the dock watching as they pass).

But nada.

I don't know how many pairs of red mittens were sold. They were modelled after, but are not exactly like, the ones worn the the 12,000 torchbearers who covered 45,000 kilometres - from coast-to-coast-to-coast in Canada - the longest torch relay in Olympic history. I'd heard the mittens were so popular that they'd run out of stock, and indeed when I was in The Bay buying my "True North Strong and Free" T-shirt there were only kids sizes available.

This is only the third time Canada has hosted the Olympic games, and despite a marred opening (the tragic death of luger Nodor Kamaritashvili and a malfunction in the final lighting ceremony) we have great hopes of glory (i.e. medals) in the next few weeks.

GO CANADA!

Julie

*http://www.hotelplacedarmes.com/ - I know you stayed at the St. James last time you were there - an excellent choice! - but this is a lovely boutique property with surprisingly good meeting space.

Collective Joy

2010-01-01T09:47:00.000-05:00

Dear Madonna,

I was listening Tapestry a few weeks ago (that's the the quasi-religious program on CBC radio) and they were discussing the the phenomenon of "Collective Joy" - a kind of shared, spiritual peak experience that happens in groups. It was surpising how many of the examples involved dance - either spontaneous or otherwise.

It got me thinking.

Often after we've been to a dance event - and we've gorged ourselves on great dances with multiple partners over the course of two or three days - there's kind of a post mortem discussion around who was your best dance of the weekend. I've always found that a difficult question to answer. My own experience is best described as getting "in the zone" - where I simply can't have a bad dance. I guess I'm kind of flattering myself, comparing my dancing to the skills of elite athletes, but what if something else is going on?

As I connect with my partner, and the music, and the floor - am I not also connecting with the overall energy in the room? And if that energy is a postitive one - joyful and passionate - why wouldn't it manifest itself in my dancing?

It was an especially joyful night last night, dancing in the New Year and it seems apt that we'll be dancing to Gospel music today.

Hope your New Year is filled with Joy!

Julie

“Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful”

2009-12-31T16:14:00.000-05:00

Dear Madonna,

I can think of no better call to action, when it comes to a decluttering, than that quote by William Morris. And while I'm not a big fan of New Year's Resolutions, it seems inevitable, or at least natural, to embrace an "out with the old, in with the new" mentality at the start of a new calendar year.

So this month I've embarked on a course of new beginnings and fresh starts that has led to, among other things:

the culling of my underwear drawer
the ousting of old, threadbare towels (which remained in my possession for purely sentimental reasons)
the purchase of a paisley scarf shower curtain, pictured above
the launch of my new website: http://www.towestcoast.com/

The latter is still a work in progress, as are a number of projects around the Home Zone designed to make my work-living space more, well, workable and live-able. Oh, and I've finally admitted defeat in the battle against of cat-hair and a general lack of skill (or interest) in housekeeping; I've hired a cleaning lady.

What I still need to figure out is what to do with things that are only ephemerally useful and beautiful but which - like a drug - are so, so difficult to give up.

Ciao Bella,
Julie

Out, damn'd spot

2009-12-06T10:04:00.000-05:00

Dear Madonna,

As a follow up to a routine physical examination my doctor ordered the removal of a mole on the back of my left arm. It was sent to the lab, and in the words of my friend Marilyn, "didn't pass the test". Nothing like the C-word to give pause, even when couched in reassurances about depth of penetration and highest cure rates.

I was sent to a special surgical unit at the hospital. Another incision was made and (it seems) a pound of flesh was taken from the offending area. I get the stitches out tomorrow and the next step, I think, will be a visit to the dermatologist to have tasteful nude photos taken of my entire body. I'm envisioning some arty, black and white prints to grace my file.

I'm feeling well cared-for and am doing my best to keep worry at bay. And I'm eating a lot of broccoli.

Julie

More Ways I'm Becoming My Mother

2009-11-10T14:16:00.001-05:00

Dear Madonna,

Look at this picture. It was taken at the United Salseros (http://www.unitedsalseros.com/ Halloween Party. Of course I'm wearing a boa, and the Phantom of the Opera is totally checking me out, but my eyes are closed! That's like nearly every picture of my mother ever taken!!

I've started to notice little ways in which I'm becoming my mother. Like the size of purse I'm hauling around these days. It's perfect for carrying all sorts of things, like dance shoes and a book to read on the subway - Arjay Santano actually called it my "Mary Poppins Bag" - but it's HUGE. My mother used to always carry these humungous shapeless bags, and then my dad would get annoyed when she would have to rummage around inside it to find something. Yet she was always prepared, and half the time Dad was telling her "Here, throw this in your purse" so he wouldn't have to carry anything.

Then there's my makeup. When did I start wearing eyeliner? My mother ALWAYS wore eyeliner. In fact she'd have her whole face "done" before waking any of us up for breakfast. It was years before I ever saw what she looked like without makeup.

And it's not just the eyeliner use that has me worried. When I was cleaning out her house I must have thrown away 25 tubes of lipstick, all different brands, of pretty much the same colour - the colour I'm wearing now!

She's in my thoughts these days, as are Dad and Mike. I miss them.

Julie

Not Just for Kids

2009-11-01T08:27:00.000-05:00

Dear Madonna,

Thanks so much for filling on on Friday night. It was so great that you could get away from all your charitable deeds in Malawi long enough to teach a West Coast Swing lesson and deejay at the Toronto Swing Dance Society's Halloween Dance.

Don't you love Halloween? There's no other time of the year where you can walk around wearing - quite literally - whatever you want. I can't believe that for so many years I didn't take advantage of this opportunity, especially since playing dress-up was such a favourite game as a child. I vividly remember some of the items in the dress-up box:

My mother's pale pink wedding dress and matching pink open-toed sling-backs
A blue velvet dress with white maribou collar (which eventually detached and could be used with other outfits)
A black off-the-shoulder top that my mother told me was part of a Halloween costume she wore, as a Beatnik
Silver and clear plexiglass Cinderella slippers!

What else do I like about Halloween? Dancing with a fireman, a cross dresser, a pirate, a super hero and Satan himself - all in one night :)

Julie

Artfully Amused

2009-10-18T22:38:00.000-04:00

Dear Madonna,

I was in Montreal last weekend, primarily to I attended workshops hosted by Dance Conmigo and taught by John Lindo. Had a really, really good time. Stayed in Old Montreal, walked (and walked!) all over the city, and even got to see a Waterhouse exhibit at the Musee de Beaux Arts.

His work shares a Pre-Raphaelite aesthetic, although he came much later, and I particularly loved the "woman-as-wise-soceress" motif. Sirens and Niaids, images from Greek myths and Roman history, Homer's Odyssey and, of course, the Lady of Shallott...All very erudite and fanciful and hugely satisfying. There were even parallels drawn between the themes of the works to the Zeitgeist of the 1890's, in which they were painted, addressing the "gender roles and calls for women to be socially and politically independent alongside a demand for proper sexual fulfillment".

I realized, while eating a falafel for lunch at Bustians on Crescent Street afterwards, that it's been a long time since I've fed my art habit. Far too long. So today, being a gorgeous sunny, fall day I took myself to an outdoor art installation up in Willowdale. Five war-time houses, long abandoned and slated for demolition, have been transformed into - well, it's hard to describe. The first one has been painted completely green to resemble the little plastic green houses from a Monopoly game. Another had a car crashing in the front window. There was an odd little video about gay penguins, and some archival pictures of the area. You can check out the website at www.leonadrive.ca

I've also made a date with woman who lives in my building, Maury (of indeterminate age she still wears make-up and locomotes on high heels *and* a cane) to go and see the Vanity Fair photo exhibit at the ROM (Royal Ontario Museum) next month.

Missed you on SNL recently; you should have told me you were going to be on!

Ciao,
Julie

Cruise Control

2009-10-03T09:50:00.000-04:00

Dear Madonna,

Driving back from Ottawa a few weeks ago (I was invited there to teach and deejay for Swing Dynamite's 4th Anniversary) and "picked up" a cute guy on the highway in black Mustang convertible. That is - he was driving at a consistent speed and positioned myself to follow at at safe distance.

It's a trick my friend, Dianne, taught me years ago: find someone driving the speed limit and cruise along behind - and it's a great strategy for someone with a (genetically predisposed?) tendency to speed. It reminded me of when I was working for Resorts Atlantic and I drove the Cabot Trail for the first time. I came across a guy on motorcycle, wearing one of those buckskin leather with fringe down both sleeves, and followed him for about an hour.

There's a dance analogy in there somewhere - keeping an even distance from the Leader, hanging back, but all the time controlling my own speed and power.

September was such a busy month, culminating with the Swing Niagara Dance Championships where I taught some classes and my dance team, "That's What I'm Talking About" competed. (The piece was choregraphed to Toronto Jazz/R&B singer Dione Taylor's song "Little Black Dress" and the girls all wore LBDs; the guys were in lavender shirts and skinny black ties.) We had a couple of really significant individaul wins (Yay Giselle! Yay Wij!) and as community we brought home the Pro-Am Challenge Cup. Go T.O.!!

Bye for now,

Julie

Booed in Bucharest?

2009-09-01T13:48:00.001-04:00

Dear Madonna,

A piece in last weekend's Globe and Mail caught my eye: something about you speaking out against the discrimination against Gypsies and being booed for it. The article claimed you were surprised by the booing. I would be too.

I remember going to see a Flamenco performance of Carmen with my Flamenco teacher and fellow students. We went out to dinner afterwards with a few of the performers. My teacher spoke in great reverence of their heritage - they were "real Gypsies".

I wonder if it's a little like the disdain for Palestinians that you come across in the Middle East, where one of the greatest insults you can deliver is: "You don't even have a homeland".

Anyway, I'm overjoyed to report that Shoppe d'Or (a high-end consignment store in Yorkville) came through with their offer to donate clothing for our fundraising "swap" next month. I hope you don't mind that I'm using your image - fashion icon that you are - to promote the event.

The event takes place Thursday, October 8th a the Dovercourt House - in case you can make it. And if you want to donate any clothing - let me know!

Julie

Rules of Engagement

2009-07-16T14:33:00.001-04:00

Dear Madonna,

First of all, you missed a fabulous weekend in Toronto. The 2Some Dance Event, and especially the "Westie Room" ROCKED the Hilton Toronto. The highlight for me was dancing an impromptu showcase piece with my good friend Mike Topel, Shelley, Nick & Clem. I haven't had as many bruises since I did those pole-dancing classes but it was a blast!

I'm dancing Tango tonight, which I lovingly think of as an excercise in submission - even more so when you take into account that Tango etiquette has a reputation for being, well, a bit harsh. I came across something this week that I found a bit disturbing:

http://www.close-embrace.com/invitingetiquette.html

It sent me back to review a hand-out I wrote a few years ago on the subject....

1. There are no gender rules for who asks whom to dance, i.e. it’s perfectly acceptable for gals to ask guys. (Or even for gals to ask gals and guys to ask guys. Hey – it’s only dancing!)

2. It’s not cool to turn down someone who asks you to dance. Notable exceptions:

(i) You’ve just danced to either a really fast song, or several songs in a row, and need to catch your breath and cool down, in which case you can tell the person that you will find them for a dance later - AND DO IT!

(ii) You really, really dislike the music that's playing; in which case, again, you can tell the person that you’ll get them for a better song later.

(iii) The person who asked you is drunk or has proven to be rough and difficult to dance with; you're legitimately concerned about your safety on the dance floor (and the safety of others.) Luckily this is a pretty rare worst-case scenerio.

3. Do you wanna dance? These behaviours will defnitely increase your floor-time.

(i) Bathe. Make sure your breath is fresh. If you tend to perspire heavily, consider bringing extra clothes to change into so that your partners don’t have to share your sweat.

(ii) Stay engaged in what’s going on. Stand, don’t sit. Watch the dancing, and see if there’s anyone you want to dance with. Chances are they’ll be flattered you asked.

(iii) Enjoy yourself while you’re dancing. Don’t hold back! Your energy and joy will attract partners, and admirers!

4. Good talk/bad talk. Good talk is when you compliment your partner. Bad talk is when you try to ‘teach’ or tell your partner what to do on the dance floor.

It's finally summer here in Toronto. I'm going to get on my bike today and enjoy it!

Julie

Something Stinks

2009-07-13T07:21:00.000-04:00

Dear Madonna,

1. a garbage strike in Canada (Toronto)
2. a military coup in Honduras
3. a dengue fever outbreak in Mexico
4. a bubonic plague outbreak in North Africa
5. military rule and extortion in Thailand

Those were the news items - in order - covered in a recent World Travel Watch article in the San Francisco Chronicle. Now, I know all publicity is supposed to be good publicity but I wonder how Calgarians and Haligonians feel about being tarred with the same brush, so to speak, as my erstwhile squeaky clean city.

It's a bit unsightly, and even shocking, and to see litter overflowing from the garbarge recepticals around the city. Personally I'm not affected by any unpleasant odours - the one benefit of not having a sense of smell. It does make you look at all the trash created by places like fast food restaurants, though, as virtually all the litter you see are empty drink cups, plastic forks, and paper bags from doughnut, burger, and submarine sandwich shops.

I remember being in Cuba years ago and going for a 'caha' (literally a "box"): rice and beans, cheap, cheap served in a little cardboard box with a real metal fork. You ate your caha right there in the alleyway then returned the fork to be cleaned and re-used for another customer. Seems like a much better way.

Ciao,
Julie

Subway Dance 2.5

2009-06-20T11:53:00.000-04:00

Dear Madonna,

Coincidence? Since my last message to you, "In Praise of Improv", I got hooked up with a group that calls itself Improv in Toronto and took part in kind of a flash mob event that had a couple of hundred people dancing to their iPods in the Toronto subway.

It was not as anarchistic as it sounds. There were rules:
1. No interfering with regular subway patrons
2. No dancing on the seats
3. No "dirty" (lewd) dancing - hey, there were kids around
4. No "pants-less" dancing - apparently that was worth mentioning

We staged ourselves at Museum Station and entered two consecutive trains, about 15-20 people per car. Right away one person in each car started dancing - to music that only they could hear on their iPod, so they looked like complete freaks. At the next station, two more people started dancing, and then at the next station, two more until we were all dancing to our own tunes. (I was dancing to an all-Madonna playlist of course!)

At Elginton Station we disembarked and took a bow on the platform as the other riders applauded and the driver on the train I was on blew the horn several times! Unfortunately our return trip was not as successful. After about three stations there was an announcement: THIS TRAIN WILL NOT CONTINUE UNTIL EVERYONE STOPS DANCING. EVERYONE MUST STOP DANCING. It was a bit surreal.

I'm not ignoring the big news story of Michael Jackson's death, and I do think it's a sad, sad waste (he was *our* age!) but I do feel he'd been "gone" for quite some time now.

Bye for now,
Julie

In Praise of Improv

2009-06-08T07:54:00.001-04:00

Dear Madonna,

Do you ever watch "Inside the Actors Studio"? They should really invite you as a guest some day. Anyway, recently they had on talk-show host Conan O'Brien. He spoke surprisingly eloquently about the art of improvised comedy, a.k.a. "improv", and the great training it is for listening and being in the moment. It seems obvious, but time and time again on that show those skills are mentioned as being the key ingredients for being a good actor.

Also last week the great Carol Burnett was interviewed on "Q". She mentioned some of the skits that they used to do on her show, with Tim Conway, and how he would start ad-libbing and improvising to the point where a three minute bit would morph into 15 minutes of mayhem where the audience KNEW they were seeing something that was being made up - right before their eyes.

I think that's why I like the "Jack & Jill" and "Strictly Swing" (improvised) formats for dance competitions so much. Though I do admire the creativity and hours of practice that go into a flawless "routine", even the word "routine" belies its essence as a product that's been repeated over and over.

There's something magical about seeing something created in real time...a freshness that almost makes you feel like you're a part of the process. That may explain why - when you see some awesome Jack & Jill performance and can't wait to buy the DVD - that it's never quite as good as you remember it to be, when you were right there, in the moment along with the dancers.

Congratulations on your final concert date in Isreal. Your Sticky & Sweet tour has certainly been a success - while you've been going through all kinds of personal challenges. Life certainly doesn't get any less complicated as we grow older, does it?

Ciao,
Julie

Five-Oh-Plus-One

2009-05-25T08:28:00.000-04:00

Dear Madonna,

I can't quite believe that I'm 51. Today. Yeah, no "JulieFest" this year, and I'm in Montreal today at the Hilton Bonaventure with a client - stuffing delegate bags, attending the pre-con (that's short for Pre-Convention Meeting), and if I'm lucky (?) going on a site visit of the new Westin later today. Oh, and it's early to bed tonight to be up and at the Registration Desk by 6:00 a.m. tomorrow morning.

But I did have a fabulous birthday "steal" dance on Friday night with Nick, Clem and Wij. It was so much fun, and everyone seemed to enjoy watching it as well. Steve Randall posted a video of the dance on Facebook, so I've been getting lots of messages from people I haven't heard from in ages. Cava-Karen sent me a beautiful card with paper products from Japan, and Louise knit me blanket - can you believe that? I got managed to get together for "Birthday Month" with Midori (whom I haven't seen forever) and Holly (back from celebrating her 30th in Paris). I suspect there are one or two more "acknowledgements" coming....

So may-be this *is* a kind of JulieFest after all - but without Mike Topel, the Dear Johns, Dianne, Cava-Karen, Andy & Tara, Karaoke, the Condom Garden, Elvis Priestly.....

On to stuffing!

Julie

Let me get back to you in a bit to let you know

Can you really have too much lace?

2009-05-09T18:27:00.000-04:00

Dear Madonna,

There's an article in this month's Flare (it's a Canadian fashion magazine, and no, "Canadian fashion" is not an oxymoron) citing the most aggregious fashion crimes of the last 50 years or so. For some reason "lace" got dissed. Crazy.

My birthday's coming up at the end of this month and I'm definitely going to celebtrate by treating myself something lacy.

Either that or I'm buying a Blackberry.

Ciao ciao,
Julie

Free Coffee and a Free Ride

2009-04-22T15:58:00.000-04:00

Dear Madonna,

I was pleasantly surprised when I went for my daily Short Bold today at Starbucks. As usual I had my "green" tumbler with me - something I started doing at the beginning of this year as my new year's resolution for the planet - and I was told that my coffee was free, in celebration of Earth Day, and as a reward for bringing my own cup. YAY!

I did something similar at my dance classes this month: offering a $5 discount for anyone who brought their own water bottle. I included the $5 drop-in fees as well and am able to make a donation of $350 to Markets Initiative.

My cousin NJ lives in Vancouver and works for the organization which lobbies publishers to use more eco-conscious paper sources. A couple of years ago Markets Initiative honoured JK Rowlings for demanding that 16 publishers around the world print her books using paper that was free of ancient or endangered forests. A more recent coup was the pubilication of a glossy magazine - Canadian Geographic - printed on paper made from wheat.

You can find out more about Markets Initiative at http://www.ancientforestfriendly.com/

Oh, and another fun thing happened today. I was on my way to a business lunch at the Design Exchange, waiting for the bus, when a couple of Citytv guys pulled up -a camera man and a talking head with microphone -stopped and asked if anyone wanted a free ride. Another woman and I hopped in and we were interviewed as we made our way down Bay Street. It was all in aid of some "random-act-of-kindness" stunt - I can't remember what they said they were doing. I just hope I didn't flash the camera when I was climbing out of the car.

What's this I hear about you falling off a horse and blaming it on a pizza delivery guy? Is someone having me on?

Ciao for now.

Julie

Mercy!

2009-04-10T18:08:00.000-04:00

Dear Madonna,

Sorry to hear you were denied the opportunity to adopt Chifundo (a.k.a. Mercy) James from Malawi. It seems almost cruel to base the decision on some trifling bureaucratic technicality, like citizenship. You're appealing, right?

Did you happen to catch some of the uproar surrounding Billy Bob Thornton's bizarre interview on the CBC program 'Q' this week? It reminded me of the press conference you gave at The Sutton Place Hotel, which I inadvertently stumbled into. One of of the reporters asked you a question about your personal life and you reminded him - very firmly, but politely - that you were only answering questions about music, the 'Ray of Light' tour, and the new album. Unlike Billy Bob - who must have been smoking something. You can watch the entire train wreck at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJWS6qyy7bw

By the way, Billy Bob and the boys are no longer on tour here in Canada. Seems a couple of the band members have come down with the flu.

Ciao.

Julie

Not convinced

2009-03-22T18:43:00.000-04:00

Dear Madonna,

Kabbala. Wasn't there a big furor when you started studying it? Since you're not Jewish, weren't 40 years old at the time, and not male. I went to a free information session today and found it a bit Eckhart Tolle meets T.Harv Ecker. Not my cup of tea I'm afraid.

Had a surpise call from my old friend, Val today. She's been "packaged out" by her company, so has gone from having no free time to, well, having a LOT of free time. She'll be coming downtown tomorrow for a seminar or workshop or something to help laid off employees to find new work. I'm having her over for lunch afterwards.

It'll be great to catch up. Val and I shared apartments, cats, and a passion for latin music. We even dated guys who played in the same band. She ended up getting pregnant and moving to Mississauga, which is pretty much the antithesis of my lifestyle so we, sadly, don't see each other very often.

Gotta go. I kind of slacked off this weekend and want to get a bunch of stuff done to start the new week off right...

Julie

Not to brag, but....

2009-02-01T20:35:00.000-05:00

Dear Madonna,

When you bring home the hardware with the number "1" on it....

My award-winning dance team, Ripple Effect, was belatedly honoured a couple of weeks ago with a plaque for their First Place win at the Swing Niagara Dance Championships that took place last September. The above photo is of just some of the members, taken at the studio where I teach on Tuesday nights.

Congratulations on all the new concert dates! Great to hear that the Sweet & Sticky tour has been extended, and although my good pal, Mike Topel commented that "Four Minutes" has had its fifteen minutes, I still love dancing to it.

Cheers!

Julie

I coulda been a contender

2009-01-23T16:45:00.000-05:00

Dear Madonna,

It was a big week. Barack Obama sworn in as the first black U.S. president, innaugural balls and whatnot, but for me the real issue was that I had to fly home from Houston before the finals.

You see, I was attending the America's Classic (Dance) Championships which are held in Houston, Texas over the Martin Luther King weekend. Monday is a quasi-holiday, with some, though not all, businesses closed. Anyway the schdedule for the weekend was skewed so that the Jack and Jill Finals, the Pro Strictly Swing competitions and the Masters Strictly Swing all took place after 3:00 p.m. Problem was, I booked my flight a couple of months before the schedule was posted and had to be on the airport shuttle at 3:00 p.m. to catch the last flight back to Toronto.

It *killed* me not to be able to dance in the finals, particularly since it was a mixed Advanced/All-Star division, and I hardly *ever* make finals! (Though I am "two for two", having come in 5th at Swingin' New England.) I even had a Masters Strictly partner lined up and it was going to be the first time I danced in Masters....

(By-the-way - you too would be eligible to dance in Masters. It's for competitors 50 years of age and older.)

Okay, I'm over it. No biggie, really.

Doesn't matter.

C'est la vie.

Julie

Size Matters

2009-01-11T14:33:00.000-05:00

Dear Madonna,
I was successful yesterday in returning a couple of recent impulse purchases, exchanging them for smaller, more appropriate sizes: boots, that remind me a little of the Miu Miu boxer-esque boots that you wear in the 4 minutes video, and a piece of lingerie. (BTW - are you wearing leopard print boxer shorts? Cool!)

Both the boots and the lingerie were a bit too big from me and I felt fortunate that I was able to convince the retailers to take them back even though they'd been worn. I also recently acquired a beautiful - though oversized - leopard print coat which I'm going to have altered. And I took back a pair of black pants that were at least a size larger than I need....

You might be wondering why I keep buying things that don't fit. I've started to wonder, too, what it might mean subconsciously. Am I using these outer shells to somehow occupy more space in the world? Making myself feel larger and more significant, or even more present?

Luckily Santa has a very good idea what size I am ;-)

Ho ho ho.

Julie

Life Lessons from the Ramsden Park Rink

2009-01-03T16:46:00.000-05:00

Dear Madonna,

You know how to skate, don't you?

I was given a pair new skates earlier this year from a colleague - can't remember the story behind them - and have been out a couple of times in the last few days to skate on the outdoor rinks at the park near my home.

It's mostly families enjoying the smaller ice surface; the larger one is boarded and used - continuously it seems! - for "shinney", or pick-up hockey. Some of the kids are amazing skaters, but others are still learning, and I noticed parents giving specific coaching tips on how to get up off the ice after a fall.

'Cause you WILL fall. It's inevitable, and not really that big a deal. You fall, and you get up. It's the getting up and getting going again, sometimes completely on your own, that matters.

Indeed.

Julie

Happy New Year, and Thank You!

2009-01-01T15:48:00.000-05:00

Dear Madonna,

Thank you sooooo much for the Sticky & Sweet knuckleduster! It arrived in the mail yesterday in a rather non-descript box. I actually thought it was some kind of corporate swag (a logo'd memory stick or post-it notes). And there was no card - you should know. Perhaps some oversight by your peeps?

In any case I LOVE IT, and was waiving it around last night at Simon's New Year's Day Gospel Dance . Of course I can't actually wear it while dancing - that would be a bit dangerous - but I expect there will be opportunities in the New Year to flash a little M Icon bling.

So what did you do for the holidays? It must be a difficult time for you, considering the divorce and everything. There does seem to be so much pressure to have happy family experiences at this time of year. You wouldn't be alone in finding that a bit of a challenge.

I got to celebrate the Solstice with my brother, Andy and his girlfriend, Tara, in snowed-in Listowel, and had a wonderful time at Langdon Hall in London - you'd love the suite we had - with my friends Dianne and Louise, the night before Louise's simply lovely wedding to Art. New Year's Eve....well, I won't go into details here but suffice to say it will be remembered.

Out dancing again tonight. Just a couple more days until I'm back to my regular routine. Sigh.

All the best for 2009!

Julie

Sexy Rexy

2008-12-12T14:27:00.000-05:00

Dear Madonna,

You'll never guess what I did this week.

My friend, Shelley, and I went to see the Nutcracker ballet on Thursday night. It was a beautiful production featuring lavish costumes, eye-popping sets, and stunning performances by the principal dancers (as well as endearing appearances by National Ballet students).

During the intermission I spotted Rex Harrington, formal principal dancer with the National Ballet of Canada, now its Artistic Director, and most recently a guest judge on the Canadian version of the television show "So You Think You Can Dance." I not only spotted him, I accosted him, introducing myself, foisting my card on him, and 'pitching' him on my fund-raising idea for next year's CAMH Benefit.

For the past two years I've raised money for the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health as a kind of memorial to my brother, Michael. I've got a great idea for next year's Benefit and it would be way cool if I could get "Sexy Rexy", as he calls himself, to take part. He's already a spokesperson for CAMH's Transforming Lives advertising campaign which features high-profile celebrities sharing personal stories in an attempt to de-stigmatize mental health and addiction issues. I asked him how I could keep in touch with him and - would you believe? - he gave me his email address!

After the ballet Shelley and I went across the street to the bar in the Hilton Hotel, but that's another story :)

Ciao,
Julie

Thanks for the email

2008-12-07T08:46:00.000-05:00

Dear Madonna,

It was great to open my inbox this week to see an email from you. And although the schedule change to your Buenos Aires concert dates doesn't really affect me, it's an interesting coincidence as my friend Beverley just got back from BA and sent me a lovely long email about her stay there. Another coincidence - Beverley and her husband, David lived in England for six years in a village not far from your estate. Oh - but are you moving back to the U.S. after the tour/divorce?

Beverley is a Tango afficionado and studies -very seriously - with an instructor in BA. I, on the other hand, am "Tango Girl, interrupted", having taken classes at Rhythm and Motion Studio for just over six months, then stopping and re-starting just last month. Thankfully one of the guys who comes to my weekly West Coast Swing practices drags me around for a Tango or two on Tuesday nights. It's really an exercise in submission, though, compared to West Coast.

Beverley insists that the "macho" reputation of the men in BA is overplayed, though she paints a picture of the Milongas where 60-year-old-men will only dance with 30-year-old women, and only when they - the men - ask (demand?) Where are these men's wives? Why does the culture prohibit a woman from asking a man to dance?

Busy week ahead and Christmas just around the corner....

Ciao,
Julie

Wanna Buy a TV?

2008-11-28T16:01:00.001-05:00

Dear Madonna,

Silly question, I know, but may-be you can pawn it off on Guy in the divorce settlement rather than letting him have the all the state-of-the-art equipment from your home theatre. Mind you, he's probably the only one who watches television in your household anyway. Football matches with all his lager lout mates. I'm guessing you don't let the children sit mindlessly in front of a TV screen any more that you would allow them to eat cheese.

Anyway, I've just posted the TV on Craigslist and hope I can find a good home for it. Barb gave me hers, which has been replaced by a lavish flat-screen that fits over the fake fireplace in her new house. My TV belonged to my grandmother and when I repaired it a few years ago I was assured that sets of that era are actually worth fixing, as opposed to the more disposible varieties built and sold today.

Consumerism and the economy are certainly getting a great deal of attention these days. I went on little "VV Boutique" shopping spree with Theresa last week, and always feel a bit virtuous dropping off more items than I actually buy. As well, the things I do buy are truly recycled goods. (Although I now have to race Theresa to certain sections of the store as we seem to have the same taste and can often wear the same size.)

A busy, festive December is just around the corner....

Julie

2008-11-02T08:56:00.000-05:00

Dear Madonna,

Well it seems like the absolute ultimate in vanities but I recently hired a professional photographer to take nude photographs of myself. Modesty prevents me from posting them here, but Joris also took a few shots of me clothed - including the one above. You can see examples of his art photography at: http://www.barenakedgallery.com/

And what am I going to do with these pictures? Well I'm not planning to use one of them for this year's Christmas card as my friend, Scotty suggested. Nor will I be putting together a coffee table book called "Sex" - LOL. My friend, Louise had Joris take pictures of her when she turned 50 and she has three of the more discreet ones displayed as a tryptich over her bed.

What's new and exciting with you? Oh, yeah. You're on the cover of every gossip magazine in print. Well at least you're busy on tour and I assume you have a lot of "people" to take care of all the divorce details.

By-the-way, the dress I'm wearing above is one of two aqcquired when Cava-Girl was here last May. The designers used to be swing dancers and their label is called Doll Factory by Damzels. You should check it out the next time you're in Toronto.

Gotta go...lots to do and it's a short week for me. I'm heading to Cape Cod next weekend for Swingin' New England.

Ciao for now,
Julie

Thanks, Madge!

2008-10-14T16:23:00.000-04:00

Dear Madonna,

We just finished our Thanksgiving weekend - yes, it's earlier than the American Thankgsiving due our northern climate and earlier harvest. It's not quite as big a deal here, although most people do get together with family for turkey dinner. I didn't. I took on a long-planned painting project during the three days off, and went out dancing every night.

And then last night I joined my old friend Barb in her new home. Not old as in ancient - she's our age - but old as in I've known her for more than half my life. Barb just bought a house with a lovely backyard in the west end of the city. We sat in her vaulted-ceiling dining room on elephant hide (don't ask) chairs, drinking Cava, and she made an interesting comment about YOU. She said that you've done "us" a big favour letting the world know how hot 50-year-old women can be.

So in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I'd just like to show our appreciation.

With gratitude,

Julie

Happy Feet

2008-10-05T15:44:00.000-04:00

Dear Madonna,

I don't know if I told you or not, but I was approached by Dave and Linda Corke, dance teachers in Ottawa, to endorse some dance shoes. (Dave and Linda also sell shoes and run an embroidery business.)

So back in August at the Chicagoland Dance Festival I had Kermit Duke, a professional photographer who works a lot of the dance events, take a bunch of pictures of me in the shoes Dave and Linda provided. It was my idea to pose on the white piano outside the hotel's ballroom. We did a few shots of me lying on the piano (again my idea) and then with my feet on the keys (Kermit's idea). Dave and Linda finally chose one with me sitting, hugging my knees, ankles crossed, and blinged it up a bit for their use. What do you think?

How goes the tour?

Julie

Ahhh...Nino

2008-09-26T09:26:00.000-04:00

Dear Madonna,

The Twosome Dance Event was another dance-filled weekend. In addition to my own classes, I "assisted" Nino Digiulio of Chicago with his. I also performed a demo with him on Saturday night, and Nino deejayed the Salsa/West Coast Swing room for late night dancing.

(He was a real class act in so many ways....recognizing me as the "local pro" and following up with a gracious thank you email this week. Check out his site: http://www.mayihavethisdance.com/)

I'm looking forward to a bit of a break, though. Tomorrow will be my first day off in nearly a month. I know, I know, it's not like I'm on a grueling multi-city concert tour, but c'mon...you've got people.

The weather has been awesome and I've been using any excuse to get out and enjoy it. But I do think it's time to deflate by balcony bed and get ready for Fall.

Julie

'Yes, I love Madonna!' declares Guy Ritchie

2008-09-08T10:46:00.000-04:00

Dear Madonna,

So your hubby, Guy, is in town for the Toronto International Film Festival. You were missed at the opening and after parties, of course, but we all know you're on tour.

Great that his new film, RocknRolla, is getting good reviews, and he has been countering all the rumours about your rocky marriage by emphatically saying he still loves you. How sweet.

It's a short week for me. I'll travelling to Buffalo on Thursday for the Swing Niagara Dance Championships. My student dance team, which I've told you about, will be competing against a team from Ottawa. I'm also helping out with the hotel arrangements to give the Event Director, Maria Cirino, a bit of a break.

Hope you're having fun out there on the road.

Julie

The F-Word

2008-08-30T10:25:00.000-04:00

Dear Madonna,

Time to Face up to it, girlFriend....you're Fifty. You're also Fit, Fabulous, and I suspect a little Frisky. (Ah, those menopausal hormones, eh?)

You've been getting a little Flak from your "John McCain as Hitler" reference in your show. Oh well, "F" 'em if they can't take a joke.

Speaking of your Sweet & Sticky tour... it's a pretty Fierce schedule. I was kind of hoping you could join us for our "So You Think You Can Dance" warm-up party on October 26th. We're all dressing up as Cat Deely and meeting for cocktails before heading down to the Air Canada Centre. But you'll be in Chicago.

And it would be FANTASTIC if you could make it to my 2nd Annual Benefit Dance on behalf of the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH) on November 11th. But you'll be in Denver. May-be I can get Rex Harrington to make an appearance....

Farewell For now,
Julie

You only got four days...

2008-08-12T17:11:00.000-04:00

Dear Madonna,

It's just four more days 'til your birthday....you *must* be doing something special to celebrate.

Just for the record, I do have plans. I'm attending the Chicagoland Dance Festival and will be ensconced in the Crowne Plaza at O'Hare airport all weekend.

Also for the record I think your brother is a bit of a jerk. I don't know him, of course, and I haven't read his book, but from the sounds of it he's tried to slam your reputation and make himself out to be some kind of victim, all the while living off of you. That's gratitude, eh?

Gotta go. If I don't speak to you again before the weekend....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MADONNA!!!!!

Julie

May-be you can pull a few strings....

2008-08-03T17:40:00.000-04:00

Dear Madonna,

I entered the You and Madge in Montreal! contest through Flare magazine this week. Strangely the very, very, very fine print says that "winner an guest must be available to travel October 20-24, 2008" but makes now mention of the actual date of your concert there. I had to go to the StubHub website to see that it's Wednesday, October 22nd, which is a relief because I teach Tuesday nights. And I'll be teaching Monday nights in October as well, for the Toronto Swing Dance Society.

So, yeah, that would be cool. And I'd love to stay at Le Germain. Are you going to be at the St-James again?

Looking forward to the Madonna-thon starting next week on Star!

Julie

Ripple Effect

2008-07-27T09:51:00.000-04:00

Dear Madonna,

This is a picture of the grrrls/Followers from my student dance team, Ripple Effect. They performed for the first time at last weekend's Toronto Open Swing Dance Championships. In fact they competed, but there was only one other entry in that division (Swinging Air Force - a Lindy Hop team from Montreal) so both teams ended up with 1st place trophies: ours for West Coast Swing.

They certainly did me proud! I was also happy to see the first Eppie Awards go to (mostly) my students...all of whom had never competed before.

We've had an unsually wet July here in Toronto - accounting for a month of bad hair days - however the weather cooperated long enough for us to dance in the streets at the Beaches Jazz Festival this week, and Ben and Crystal had a stunningly beautiful day for their outdoor wedding.

My good friend Shelley is due to give birth to a little Leader or Follower any day now.

And what's up with you? That whole A-Rod thing seems to have died down, thank goodness. Do you have any plans for your birthday, yet? It's only three weeks away....

Julie

Caving in Cancun

2008-07-11T22:51:00.000-04:00

Dear Madonna,

This is my favourite pic from a visit to a 'cenote' (sink hole) located south of Cancun, Mexico. It was a bit of an Ekhardt Tolle moment....contemplating the million years that have passed since a meteor fell in the ocean, creating this geological formation. We even turned our headlamps off and sat in total, and I mean TOTAL darkness for a minute or so.

Otherwise the trip was the usual (for my business) quick visit to see various hotels accompanied by too much to eat and not enough time to exercise, though I did manage to make it into the sea for a tussle with the waves.

And you....I heard you've denied the whole A-Rod thing, but that he hasn't and that his wife is filing for divorce. There's lots of speculation that you and Guy are divorcing, too. Meanwhile I keep reading about extra dates being added to your Sweet & Sticky tour.

It's good to keep busy. Me, I'm taking a full day of Burlesque workshops tomorrow.

Va va va voom!

Julie

(a.k.a. Diva Luscious)

Maid of the Missed Opportunies

2008-06-20T09:22:00.000-04:00

Dear Madonna,

Regrets, I've had a few....

I'm sorry I didn't get Mike Topel to dance with the two pregnant Madonnas during JulieFest.

And I'm sorry I didn't come up with the descriptor "thunderous finish" during our wine-blending team-building event in Niagara-on-the-Lake.

The above photo was taken of our group on the Maid of the Mist tour boat, with the Canadian Horseshoe Falls in the background. Have you ever done it? It's a blast, but you do get very wet.

I was very surprised that Shelley seemed to like the Baby Tattoos I gave her as a shower gift last weekend. I thought they'd be my 'get-out-of-babysitting-free' card for sure. Perhaps she was just being polite.

We had our first Epplett Award Fund Steering Committee meeting last night, with a lot of great ideas and some concrete actions for the first "Eppies". Someone - who shall remain nameless - suggested that *you* may be eligible for an Honourary Eppie....

I'll send you a postcard from Cancun.

Julie

61 days, 3 hours, 52 minutes

2008-06-15T20:28:00.000-04:00

Dear Madonna,

Did you know that there's an on-line birthday countdown on the Blog madonnasworld.com? It's accompanied by an annoying "Happy Birthday" sound bite. Oh well. I'm sure they mean well.

In this weekend's Globe and Mail there was an interesting article by Johanna Schneller, one of their movie reviewers, about the pre-ponderance of films this summer featuring mid-life actors. You got a mention, too, for your 4 Minutes video with featurig "pipsqueak Justin Timberlake" being crushed by your "mighty yoga thighs". LOL!

My life has slowed down to a dull roar following the excitement of JulieFest. I've gotten my bike on the road in the last week and been having some fun in the great outdoors, despite sudden downpours. (Bad for the hair, but at least it's not cold.)

'Till next time, Madge.

Julie

Desperately Seeking a Reply

2008-06-08T21:18:00.000-04:00

Dear Madonna,

It's Sunday night and I'm watching 'Desperately Seeking Susan' on TLN. We're just at the part when she meets up with Roberta's husband and they're dancing to 'Get Into The Groove'. Love it!

Speaking of dancing, I was in Niagara Falls this week on a bit of a business junket an met up with a friend to go dancing. We ended up at Rumours on Clifton Hill (just about as old school tacky Niagara Falls as you can get.) Anyway, I wanted to make a request but couldn't figure out how to get to the deejay's booth so I hand-signalled from the dance floor:

I held up four fingers, then pointed at my watch.

The deejay got it and played 4 Minutes for me!!!

And we danced....

Julie

You missed one heckuva party

2008-05-31T21:45:00.001-04:00

Dear Madonna,

It's now two weeks since the JulieFest weekend and the Madonna-inspired Fabulous Floor Show (which you missed!) and I'm finally able to catch my breath and drop you a line.

The turn-out for the dance workshops was excellent and Mike was amazing...as always. The show was fun, and my Papa Don't Preach/Sisters piece with Shelley, pictured above, went really well. Andy Haslett provided Cava for a toast after the show, and I was completely overwhelmed by the surprise presentation of a plaque representing the creation of The Epplett Award Fund. (Or as Mike coined, "The Eppies").

Hard to top, but the party continued the next day at The Gladstone Hotel with the Dear Johns - they were awesome! - and a guest appearance by Elvis. Best of all was just hanging around the hotel with friends and family, including my "sister by choice" Penny and brother, Andy.

Cava Karen stayed a few more days and we played tourist a bit, going to the Museum of Contempory Canadian Art (mocca), the CN Tower, and a final, fun cocktail hour at the Rooftop Bar of the Park Hyatt, where a "Mr. Zorro" bought us a bottle of champagne.

More pictures on my Facebook page. Friend me.

Julie

JulieFest Official Kick-off Party Tonight!

2008-05-15T11:10:00.001-04:00

Dear Madonna,

Cava-girl Karen arrived yesterday, and she got a sneak peak at the opening number of the Madonna-inspired Fabulous Floorshow taking place this Saturday.

Mike Topel arrives today, and we'll be dancing to Karaoke at Noah's Ark tonight. (The address is 2777 Danforth Avenue at Dawes Road in case you arrive late and want to direct your limo on how to get there.)

Still many details to attend to but everything is coming together and everybody seems to be really looking forward to the weekend.

Still hoping you'll surprise us and just show up. Looking for a hotel? I recommend the new Hazelton Hotel in Yorkville. They have some beautiful suites, and it's within walking distance of my place.

Gotta run! I'm taking Karen to Christine's (my gym) today for a work-out.

Julie

Sticky & Sweet

2008-05-09T18:05:00.000-04:00

Dear Madonna,

Diggin' the new album, and thanks for sending along that advance info about the concert dates. So glad you're making a stop in Toronto this time. Where are you staying? Will you be at the St-James again in Montreal? That's a such a gorgeous hotel.

I'm looking forward to playing '4 Minutes' tonight at the Toronto Swing Dance Society's Friday night dance. I'm teaching a couple of short lessons then deejaying part of the evening. It'll be one of the last opportunities for me to talk up JulieFest...which is now less than a week away, can you believe it?

Any word from Antonio (Bandaras) about whether he can make it? I'm still looking for Tango dancers....

Miss Julie

(The 'Miss' is an affectation I picked up in New Orleans)

Trashy Diva

2008-05-01T23:10:00.000-04:00

Dear Madonna,

Just back from New Orleans. It was a good trip but I'm glad to get back to my own bed, and Zouk and Liza of course. (They're my cats and they really miss my lovin' when I'm away.)

The New Olreans trip was business, though I did fit in a night out dancing at Club Silouette in the suburb of Metarie hosted by local West Coast Swing pros Shawn and Kristen Moody.

I also managed to buy some souvenirs, mostly gifts. I read in a guidebook about a store in the French Quarter called "Trashy Diva" specializing in in clothing and handmade corsets. Woo-hoo! I bee-lined over there during one of our lunch breaks only to discover that they now only sell vintage-inspired ready-to-wear, and no lingerie. Oh well.

And, of course, I was nowhere near a record store on April 29th so will have to go out to HMV tomorrow to pick up my copy of Hard Candy.

Any word from Antonio, yet?

Miss Julie

Don't Cry for Me

2008-04-25T09:04:00.000-04:00

Dear Madonna,

Do you know how I can get hold of Antonio Bandaras? I'd like to invite him to my party, too.

He knows a bit of Tango, doesn't he? From when you worked on Evita together? I'm soliciting some crossover West Coast Swing/Tango dancers to put on an informal demo on Madonna Day, for the Fabulous Floor Show. Getting Antonio to come would be a real coup! And there's a bit of birthday 'history' associated with him.....

When I went to Barcelona with Cava Girl Karen for my 40th birthday the plan was to hook up with an Antonio Bandaras look-alike for a bit of holiday fun. In the first two days that we were there, though, the only men we met seemed to be Moroccan gigolos, so I quickly dropped that idea and Karen and I carried on sight-seeing and going to the Cava Bars without paying much attention to the guys who were paying attention to us. You must know how that is.

Another question, and this one from Beverley who *may* help out with the Tango demo if I come up with a song she likes, and that is: What's your favourite Tango song? Do you go for the traditional stuff or are you drawn (like I am) to the "alt" or electronic Tango music?

Last weekend we were in Buffalo for dance workshops with an instructor from California, Michael Kielbasa. He danced with one of the local Buffalo instructors (and fabulous Follower), Marta, to "4 Minutes". So cool! I really hope the song finds its way onto the West Coast circuit. Actually, I'm hoping that there will be other cuts from Hard Candy that will be suitable for dancing West Coast. Can hardly wait....

Only 4 Minutes to Save the World...and only 4 Days until the album hits stores!

"All through my wild days, my mad existence..."

Julie

On The Cover Of....

2008-04-18T09:17:00.001-04:00

Dear Madonna,

Picked up the new Vanity Fair and Elle magazines last week. You are hot, hot, HOT! I love what you're wearing in both: all lingerie/athletic wear in VF (with those boots!), and a definite nod to Catherine Deneuve in Elle...plus fedora and fishnets...yum! Oh - and I like the patent leather bra, too, but when you come to Toronto I'll take you to Northbound Leather; I think you'll really dig their stuff.

Well, we're just a month away from JulieFest and I still have tons to do but things really are falling in place. I had some rehearsals last week, setting the choreography for a couple of pieces we're doing Saturday night....as part of our tribute to you, Madonna, so I hope you can make it.

The Gladstone Hotel has added "The Dear Johns Day" to their on-line event listing: http://www.gladstonehotel.com/events/day.cfm?d=2008/05/18. I really hope we get a mention in their print newsletter, the Glad Bag, as well.

Cool coincidence: The Gladstone features art shows in its public spaces and concurrent with my event there's a photo exhibit Elvis impersonators from a big annual Elvis weekend that takes place north of Toronto each year. Are you an Elvis fan, Madonna?

Anyway, gotta go. I'll write again next week, and then the week after that I'll be attending a conference in New Orleans. That's where I'll be on the on the 29th, when Hard Candy comes out. I want the real CD, though I'll probably download it to my iPod anyway.

BTW - did I hear '4 minutes' on a shampoo commercial?

Ciao ciao,

Julie

4 Minutes

2008-04-06T09:25:00.000-04:00

Dear Madonna,

I downloaded your new video with JT onto my iPod. Love it, love it, love it...and *especially* love what your wearing! Looking forward to hearing the entire album later this month.

I read this week that you've been defending poor Britney. Good for you. A few years ago my friend Shelley and I used your performance with Britney where you kissed as the inspiration for our costumes in a Jill & Jill contest at the Boston Tea Party. I remember Ann Fleming asking (a bit mockingly) if we were supposed to be 'angel and devil' as we were dressed in white and black. When we told her we were Britney and Madonna and that we were going to lock lips she nearly freaked!

You know, there's a ton of West Coast stuff going on in the U.K.; you may want to check it out. I get these great emails from a woman who calls herself West Coast Angie. Here's just a sample of what's happening, your side of the pond:

Wednesday 9 April ROBERT AND NICOLA ROYSTON will be teaching 2 classes, 8 to 8.50 (basics) and 9 to 9.50 (intermediate patterns) for Catriona Wiles - WCS Wednesdays at St Mary's Church Hall, Church Street, Twickenham TW1 3NJ. Doors open 7.45

Friday 11 - Monday 14 April ROBERT AND NICOLA ROYSTON will be joined by KYLE REDD AND SARAH VANN DRAKE for the UK WCS CHAMPIONSHIPS AT WESTON SUPER MARE. This event is hosted by John and Wes of Jive Addiction who are responsible for bringing over so many US pros for our enjoyment. SO IF YOU HAVEN'T BOOKED YET, DO IT NOW!! http://www.jiveaddiction.com/

Friday 25 to Sunday 27 April JORDAN AND TATIANA will be at the Royal Oak Pub in Blisworth, Northants for a full weekend of workshops, freestyles and cabaret. There are still spaces left so contact Angelique at onlytheroyaloak@aol.com or call her on 07887 910646. The daily rate for workshops + freestyle only is only £45 or £89 for the whole weekend. The Saturday evening freestyle is £25 and Friday/Sunday evenings are £15.

Friday 9 to Monday 12 May MARIO ROBAU will be at CEROC Scotland's Blaze Weekender in Ayr. I have personally attended many of Mario's workshops over the years and he really is a great master of WCS. If you have never seen him before, then do make the effort to travel to Scotland. He really is worth it, friendly, funny and very focussed with gems of technique pointers!

Madonna, these are all really terrific instructors, and I agree with Angie about Mario being a "great master". You'd get some valuable insight into the dance before JulieFest.

Speaking of which, I've asked Dave & Linda Corke to bring a good selection of the popular low-heeled sandal for Followers to purchase that weekend. I'm also looking forward giving away 'Angel Bucks'. These will be discount coupons for the workshop weekend with Angel Figueroa taking place outside Ottawa a couple of weeks after JulieFest.

Last but not least I've started scheduling rehearsals for the "Fabulous Floor Show" taking place during the dance on May 17th. I think you're really going to get a kick out of it. And if you wanted to perform in it yourself.....

Tick tock tick tock tick tock

Julie

My Newest Addiction

2008-03-28T17:12:00.001-04:00

Dear Madonna,

I've become one of these people you see walking around, riding the subway, and sitting in Starbucks with white strings coming out of their ears. I'm listening to all my favourite music on a pretty pink iPod I bought for myself on Valentine's Day, and it's like crack! I still can't get over the quality of the sound and I love how it takes me into my own little world.

On the other hand - I've also downloaded the first four webcasts if Oprah's Monday night "classes" with Eckhart Tolle, where they are going through his book, A New Earth, chapter by chapter. In Chapter Two they talk about how people walk around wearing iPods are are not fully present and connected with their environment. In fact I was listening to that particular podcast as I was walking home from team rehearsal on Wednesday night. It's very cool that so many (2 million +?) around the world are taking part in the classes, but I guess I'm just not ready to be 'awakened'.

On top of that, it's Earth Hour tomorrow and I'm scheduled to deejay at a dance in Waterloo. Not likely that we're going to be turning off the lights and stopping the music....

Besides feeling a little out of step with the rest of the world things are going well as we get closer and closer to JulieFest. Rooms are still available at the Gladstone Hotel; I booked mine yesterday (hint, hint), and registrations are coming in every week.

I noticed when I was on iTunes this week that 'Hard Candy' is already a best seller, and it hasn't even been released yet! I guess all that free press about you and Guy is paying off - heh heh heh.

Until next time,
Julie

Accept All Invitations

2008-03-22T20:51:00.000-04:00

Dear Madonna,

There's been a lot of talk lately about you and Guy leading separate lives. Girlfriend-to-girlfriend, if there is any truth to the rumours that you're splitting up I want to share some excellent advice from Canadian stand-up comic Sandra Shamus, and that is to "accept all invitations".

You may not feel like going out, and you're probably reluctant to do new things and meet new people but it will be sooooo good for you. That's why I think you really MUST come to JulieFest. Toronto will be such a great change of scenery and I'll introduce you to all my friends.....

One commentator speculated that all the talk about your rocky marriage is really just a publicity stunt in aid of getting your name in the press before the release of your new album next month. Well, if anyone knows how to manipulate the media you do!

In any case, I'm here. Even if you just want to talk.

Your friend,
Julie

Mea Culpa

2008-03-16T10:44:00.000-04:00

Dear Madonna,

Please accept my apologies for not writing sooner to congratulate you on your recent induction to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame! I don't care what anyone says, you look hot! Why shouldn't you wear a dress that shows off your thighs? Yeesh...people are just so mean. And all that talk about the 'work' you've had done. Nill Illigitimi Carborundum, is all I can say.

Well, registrations have started coming in already for JulieFest, and people are booking Private lessons with Mike. We're really only two months away, and I haven't heard from you yet so I'm a little worried you might not be able to make it. If it's just that you're still trying to get out of some other commitments, I understand. Please feel free just to show up.

Mike's given me the names/descriptions for the three workshops he's going to be teaching on Sunday, May 18th at The Gladstone Hotel. In fact they're names of Dear Johns songs:

Train Kept A-Rollin: How to stay on track but get some really steam and momentum built up

A Little More Time: Extending patterns, extending with groove

She's got the Rythym: ....and he does too; fun, alternative rhythms you can put in your butt

Remember Saturday is still *your* day, and my friend Shelley's husband came up with a brilliant write up for their website:

Mike Topel is crossing the Borderline to get Into The Groove. He's coming to celebrate JulieFest, as are all of Toronto's West Coast Swing dancers. It will be a day to Cherish, as is the woman whose birthday we're celebrating. Who's that Girl, it's Julie Epplett, and Mike is her gift to Toronto. If you don't know Mike, he's more than a Beautiful Stranger, and once you dance with him you'll Open Your Heart. He's True Blue even to the most Material Girl. I don't have to Justify My Love of Mike's dancing, see if for yourself... it's always in Vogue. Trust me, Mike is the best social dancer I've ever seen. Dance with him and you'll see he's Crazy For You as any leader should be. He knows What It Feels Like For A Girl, and his dancing will make you feel Like A Virgin. Follow your Lucky Star to JulieFest, catch the Fever and dance with one of North America's most amazing dancers.

I'm heading out to Vancouver and Seattle this week so will write to you next from the West Coast. Until then,

Julie

Bottoms up!

2008-02-29T17:21:00.000-05:00

Dear Madonna,

Did you watch the Oscars? My girlfriend, Shelley, and I watched the Academy Awards red carpet coverage from a suite overlooking Niagara Falls. We even made it to the hotel's spa for pedis in the afternoon. Luxury!

While at the spa I picked up a copy of Men's Health and looked through it - for the articles only, of course - and discovered an interesting factoid about Cava. Apparently a Spanish scientific study has determined that drinking the Spanish bubbly on a regular basis reduces inflamation. "Like red wine, Cava has a significant amount of polyphenols, which have a strong anti-inflamatory effect on the body", thus reducing the risk of cancer, heart disease, Alzheimers, and arthritis.

I'm stocking up on Segura Viudas....and drinking to, and for, my health!

Sante,

Julie

How well do you know…THE DEAR JOHNS?

2008-02-23T19:37:00.000-05:00

Dear Madonna,

My friend Dianne was visiting from Halifax last week and we went on a tour of Queen Street West West starting with The Gladstone Hotel, where the Dear Johns will be performing their reunion gig during JulieFest.

We marvelled at the transformation from what the place was back in the Bronco's days. According to Adam, who took us around on a room inspection tour to some of the individually designed artist suites, some shenanigans still take place in the washroooms despite the hermitically sealed windows, although you no longer have to worry about being accidentally locked in a stall.

Just for fun I thought you might like to try your hand at a quiz (excerpted without permission from Cosmopolitan Magazine issue # 1214)

Test your knowledge of this country/rockabilly/blues/swing combo known to haunt the Queen/Dufferin area of Toronto in the mid-1990’s.

1) The Dear Johns consists of:
A- Breandan McGrath (bass)
B- Claude Barnes (drums)
C- Shawn Crockard (guitar)
D- Scott Crockard (harmonica)
E- All of the above

2) The Dear Johns guitarist Shawn Crockard courted and married Julie Epplett’s:
A- cat
B- good friend Dianne
C- dancing shoes
D- cha cha cha oochie mama!

3) The Dear Johns have been known to play:
A- country tunes by everyone from Hank Williams to Lyle Lovett
B- blues rants by folks like Son House and Stevie Ray Vaughan
C- swing numbers inspired by The Texas Playboys and Brian Setzer Orchestra
D- Rockabilly rave ups greased by Jerry Lee Lewis and Carl Perkins
E- R’n’R by The Clash, Pretenders, Talking Heads, John Hiatt
F- All of the above

4) It’s been said the Barnes/McGrath rhythm section of The Dear Johns:
A- lays it down thick and hot like fresh asphalt on the 401
B- is responsible for continental drift
C- can only barely tolerate the Crockard brothers
D- really ARE Crockard brothers but working under aliases

5) One of Scott Crockard’s favourite pastimes as a youngster was:
A- driving his younger brother Shawn crazy
B- driving his younger brother Shawn crazy
C- sitting on his younger brother Shawn’s head and farting
D- driving his younger brother Shawn crazy

6) The last time The Dear Johns played the Gladstone Hotel:
A- they made everyone in the place dance like crazy
B- someone tried to get wise with Donna the barmaid, but to no avail
C- the joint was called “Broncos”
D- There was a buffalo head on the wall
E- All of the above

How'd you do?

Julie

CavaGirl is Coming! CavaGirl is Coming!

2008-02-15T11:41:00.000-05:00

Dear Madonna,

I think I told you that my friend, Cava Karen, is coming from England for JulieFest. Well I just got confirmation of her flight details today.

She and I met when I was living in Kuwait. We were both Hot Box Dancers in an amateur production of Guys and Dolls (you know, "Take back your mink, take back your pearls, what makes you think that I'm one of those girls?" - except that "pearls" was pronounced "poils", and girls, "goils").

Anyway, that was years ago now and we have a mutual friend, Slash who was also in the production. Bless his tone-deaf little heart, he had the only non-singing role. Slash loves Karaoke (naturally) and Karen has been urging me to urge him to come to JulieFest as well, but when I saw him last month in Houston he didn't seem that keen. Perhaps if you wrote to him, Madonna?

I went by the Gladstone Hotel last Sunday to drop off some JulieFest postcards with Adam, who's been helping me with the guestroom reservations. He was very impressed and gave them a place of honour at the front desk.

Gotta go. It's a work day and we have a long weekend ahead. Dianne is coming from Nova Scotia for a visit and I'm entertaining some of the "goils" on Sunday night.

By-the-way, the CavaGirl moniker might be a bit confusing. It started when Karen and I were in Barcelona for my 40th birthday. Not quite sure how or why but it was born somewhere amongst the Cava Bars of that city and my looking like you with your blonde Ray of Light curls was part of the story somehow.

TTFN
Julie

Madonna Day

2008-02-07T09:52:00.000-05:00

Dear Madonna,

I picked up your Immaculate Collection CD yesterday at HMV (using the gift card Nick and Laura gave me for Christmas). I'll be sure to play a couple of songs off of it at the Toronto Swing Dance Society's dance tomorrow night.

About the Karaoke Kick-off Party...when I told my friend Dianne my idea she said her husband Shawn (the lead singer for The Dear Johns) would rather hit his head with a hammer. I feel exactly the same way about watching "Dancing with the Stars".

Anyway, I'm guessing, you probably won't want to join us at Noah's Ark on the Thursday night either, but it would be really cool if you could come to the Dovercourt on Saturday. I'm making it a tribute day to *you* and all the dance workshops have been inspired by your songs.

Vogue - body movement ("Let your body go with the flow...")

In the Groove - partnering skills ("...gonna dance with someone else")

Express Yourself - styling for both Leaders and Followers

Like a Virgin - beginner West Coast Swing ("...for the very first time")

Oh, and I'd better check with Shawn, but they may be okay with you singing a couple of songs with the Dear Johns on Sunday night at the Gladstone, as long as we give them the song titles in advance so they can practice. Just let me know.

One more thing, Larry Hough posted the demos of me dancing with Mike - from my 'Six Pillars' instructional DVD - on YouTube. Check them out!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWn0zEJAG6c

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRhBJLDLzEw

Ciao ciao,

Julie

Karaoke Kick-off Party

2008-02-01T12:40:00.000-05:00

Dear Madonna,

We were out dancing at Noah's Ark last night with Mona and Jack and came up with a brilliant plan....We're going to start off 'JulieFest' with Karaoke night at the Ark on the Thursday before the long weekend: Thursday, May 15th.

The place is aptly described in Mona's article in DanceTime as "Utterly without pretension...like walking into a stranger's rec room", and the vocal skills of the singers are a bit...um...uneven. The floor, however, is in good condition and dancers are both welcomed and appreciated. Mona thinks the singers will rise to the occasion of preparing for my birthday party with any West Coast Swing requests we may have.

Now we'll have to see if Mike can get here on the Thursday night to take part in the Kick-off festivities, and if the Dear Johns aren't too offended by the whole Karoake scene may-be we'll get them up at the mic. You, too, of course, Madonna....we'd *love* it if you could sing for us!

Noah's Ark is located at 2777 Danforth at Dawes Road.

Hope you can make it!

Julie

The Invitations are at the Printers

2008-01-26T11:25:00.000-05:00

Dear Madonna,

Please advise your mailing address (at whatever castle you're living in these days) so that I can send you a copy of the official invitation to "JulieFest".

The invitations, just so your people will know, are in the form of a postcard featuring a picture of one of my childhood birthday parties. Mom looks every bit the 1950's housewife, and is serving me sandwiches. Some of the furnishing in that picture remained in my family for years...through countless moves, I should add. In fact, I still have the wooden lamp with pressed-leaf shade in my condo today, and the aqua ashtray.

On the back I've got an overview of the weekend:

Friday May 16th at the Dovercourt House -3rd floor
West Coast Swing/Cha Cha Crossover lesson with Mike Topel
Dancing to West Coast, Cha Cha, and Salsa

Saturday May 17th at the Dovercourt House – 2nd floor
Daytime West Coast Swing Workshops with Mike Topel
Evening Lesson, followed by Dance and a Fabulous Floor Show!

Sunday May 18th at the Gladstone Hotel
Daytime West Coast Swing Workshops with Mike Topel
Dancing to live music that evening featuring The Dear Johns

I've been in touch with Mike again this week with content ideas for his workshops, and people have started booking their rooms at the Gladestone Hotel. You should, too....the Queen Suite on Queen is sure to go fast!

Ciao for now,
Julie

Mike's Our Bitch

2008-01-20T18:38:00.000-05:00

Dear Madonna,

I just got back from Texas, where I spent some time with my good pal Mike Topel. Mike is an amazing West Coast Swing dancer and teacher, and I've invited him to teach a series of classes over the Victoria Day Weekend as part of my birthday celebrations. (He has it posted on his website as "Toronto JulieFest": http://www.miketopel.com/)

In fact, I've found a great big bow for him to wear!

We're just working out the content for the workshops. I want Mike to teach a Cha Cha class on the Friday night (dancing Cha with him is a totally orgasmic experience), and otherwise he's willing to do our bidding. So I've put the word out to the community to see if there are any requests.

And great news...I heard from Cava Karen in England. She's making arrangements to be here for my birthday, too!

I've also heard from Shawn-o that he's lined up sound equipment support for The Dear Johns so that I don't have to pay to use the Gladstone's existing system.

Woo-hoo!

Julie

Dear Madonna

2007-12-31T19:53:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year!

And what a year it's going to be, eh? The year we *both* turn the "BIG FIVE-OH".

My birthday comes first so technically I am older than you, but what's a few months when we're talking five decades of living, loving, and dancing?

I'm sure you're planning something very special to celebrate your 50th birthday. Me too. This blog will be used to chronical plans for 'JulieFest', taking place over the Victoria Day long weekend.

Bye for now!
Julie

Dear Madonna

Gettting Rubbed the Right Way

2012 - Bring It On!

Ghost of Christmas Past

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Diversions

My Jean Paul Gaultier

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I Just Haven't Met You Yet

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One Perfect Day

FOR SALE: one slightly-used US Open costume

Looking *Way* Back

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Looking Back

The Time of My Life

3,2,1!

5,4...

7,6....

10, 9, 8....

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On The Fly

Another One Bites the Dust

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Beam Me Up, Scottie!

Mi Casa Es Una Casita

Meet "The Meat"

Why Ain't It Always Summer?

The Best of Dances, The Worst of Dances

Ma Vie En Rose

International Dance Day Eve

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Out, damn'd spot

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Cruise Control

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Subway Dance 2.5

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Can you really have too much lace?

Free Coffee and a Free Ride

Mercy!

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Not to brag, but....

I coulda been a contender

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May-be you can pull a few strings....

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61 days, 3 hours, 52 minutes

Looking Way Back